TX Mom Blog

Wordless Wednesday (+2 days): Jan. 20, 2012

2012-01-20T16:26:00.003-06:00

I miss my Word(less) Wednesday posts and I had some pics I wanted to post, so why not a Wordless Wednesday on a Friday. Natalie and I went to get her some new boots today for the Stock Show and she fell in love with the hat, too, and wanted some pictures taken. I'm thinking we may need a longer shirt so that it stays tucked in (UGH!). She is so very excited for Stock Show though! :)

January 12

2012-01-15T11:52:00.003-06:00

And now we get onto the tough stuff

2012-01-13T21:02:00.003-06:00

Of parenting, that is. The tough part where the lessons you had been working on and toward - that seemed to be working - suddenly seem to be derailed. The tough job of developing character.

We have been running into some previously foreign issues around our house lately with regard to work ethic, maturity, hard work, taking the easy way, etc. I'm not sure where it's coming from, but it's entirely maddening!!

This is my eight-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Natalie Grace and the offending math assignment she was asked to do. As you can see, there is one square blank. Obviously, the problems are not difficult for her (as evidenced by the following ones which are the same type).

[In case it's not clear, she can't figure out: 24 ft = ____ yd or 42 ft = _____ yd. But she can figure out that 13 ft = 4 yd 1 ft, 40 ft = 13 yd 1 ft]

However, just as obvious is her disdain for the expectation that she do her work on her own. How dare I, you know?

We have been battling some issues with these types of behaviors for the last few (six or so) months and while I know I'm not alone, this is certainly a ride I'd like to get off!!

To be honest, I thought that the fact that we were consistent and firm in our parenting style from essentially Day One with her ~ and the fact that we had a hard-working, driven, self-motivated child ~ basically exempted us from this stage. I was clearly wrong.

That said, I am encouraged by knowing that she has it all in there and she is (more than) capable of stepping up to the plate. However, I'm discouraged by the fact that we're having to do some of the tough parenting and poke and prod her along. No, that's not helping in the self-motivation department, but it is helping in the hard work, accountability departments.

I know this is just scratching the surface of some of these bigger parenting hurdles regarding character and more, but it's certainly throwing us for a bit of a loop.

In good news, we had a nice evening complete with hard work on some Spanish work, good effort at diving, and off to bed without any further adieu. Hallelujah!!

Oh, to be a little kid again

2012-01-11T17:51:00.000-06:00

This post dedicated to Erin because you will "get it" and laugh the way I did.

I think I'd like to be 8 years old again. At least for a day. Natalie spent some time this afternoon in her room playing with her "Snap Circuits" (great toy, by the way!). She asked me to stop by her room to see what she made and I walked in to a water/saltwater conductivity experiment ....

Under the canopy of her Fort Kit:

Rope everywhere. Note Toby barely awake from his nap up in her bed.....

The light on means there is water ;)

Toby starts out tolerant .... gets a bit annoyed with pictures ....

And is just done ....

But the girl sure looks happy and content, right? :)

Clock Makeover

2012-01-11T11:47:00.000-06:00

Just a fun and quick project for our Wednesday mid-morning:

Just an aside on the analog clock situation: I am one of those crazy parents that basically didn't let my daughter have a digital clock in her room until she could sort of tell time. She has a digital and an analog clock right by each other still and I still encourage her to use analog. Why? I don't know. I realize the world is rapidly moving into an all-digital era, but it was just something that was important to me at an early age and with that importance, we put an analog clock in her room very young. At least by age 3. [Yes, I know - If I'm so hell-bent on the old school way, why not install a sun dial, too - but you know, I can only do so much :) ]

Anyway, this is the clock we started with from Ikea:

And apparently, over time, the white background - not made out of paper, but more a plastic-ish material begins to break down. We had large cracks going from the 12 to the center and the 11 to the center.

So I got a wild hair idea and decided to make a new face. Simple, really. I would take the old one out, trace it onto some cute paper, add some labels, and reassemble. Except that when I went to take the clock apart, the entire background just cracked and crumbled like an egg shell. Everywhere.

So I improvised and just traced, cut, trimmed, added some scrapbook sticker numbers in the general vicinity of where I think they go (Good thing she's not still learning how to tell time ~ that could prove to be more than a bit frustrating), and reassembled the clock mechanism.

The final product:

I love how it matches her bright polka dot room perfectly .... and I didn't have to throw away a "perfectly good" clock!

Just an Ordinary Sunday

2012-01-08T17:05:00.003-06:00

Today was just an ordinary Sunday around here. Tons of cattle work as we get ready for the Fort Worth Stock Show coming up which meant alll day outside. We even ate lunch on our feet in the barn. Guess you could call it 'training' for the show :)

Natalie and her baby, "Honey":

I may be biased but I think this girl is gorgeous. All-American-girl, hair a mess, etc - but beautiful and real.

I think Ranger was ready for us to go inside so he could join:

JJ livin' on the edge - literally.

And of course some time on the trampoline - this pic makes me giggle at her intensity.

Happy Sunday!!

Do I Enjoy Parenting?

2012-01-06T14:34:00.004-06:00

I saw a blog today via my Facebook feed that resonated deep for me - on a few different levels. It was titled "Don't Carpe Diem." Okay, I'll bite. I'll click and read what this is about. And as I read, I found myself nodding along and giggling a bit at some of the antics of the writer's children (particularly in the Target check-out line). But moreso, it made me really take a step back and question "Do I enjoy parenting?", "Do I Carpe Diem?", "What will my advice be years from now?"

Do I enjoy parenting? If I take the collection of the last 3,077 days (the above was done yesterday), the answer is a very simple: Yes. Yes, I do.

But it isn't always easy. There are certainly days and even weeks where I just don't want to be "the mom." It has nothing to do with being her mom. I just don't want to be the mom. I don't want to be the one who has to correct the behaviors, devise behavior systems, come up with appropriate consequences, give the life lectures, etc.

I, however, wouldn't trade all of that for the lovely talks we have almost daily while driving, the opportunity to see her learn things so easily and to figure out how her brain exactly works (not like mine!), play games, read together, talk about our observations of the world, do art projects, go outside to see her latest trick on the trampoline (as I was just asked to come see mid-blog), and the opportunity to simply be a mom in every sense of the word.

Admittedly, it was easier to enjoy the time, collectively, when she was younger. Not because she's a bad kid, but just because she's older and with more of a mind of her own - and the words (tone) to express her likes and dislikes.

And that's what I think the older woman in the above blog was trying to say - to enjoy the time when they're little because it only gets harder. I wholeheartedly agree with her and my kid is only 8 (still very little in the grand scheme of life).

Do I Carpe Diem? Sadly, this depends on a number of factors ~ what else is going on in life, behavioral choices, etc., etc. But overall, I would say yes. Each day is just that - each day. It's easy to let yourself get bogged down by the demands of life and lose sight of the littler things each and every day have to offer, but it's certainly something I try really hard to do and certainly want to take this opportunity to make a better effort.

What will my advice be years from now? I'm not sure that I'll be doling out any advice. I don't think I've done everything right to this point (I know I haven't - and I know I'll make more mistakes from this point forward, too), but I do think that Zane and I set out to parent in a particular way and we're more-or-less staying the course and getting the results we hoped to get (again, in the bigger picture). My biggest advice, particularly for my own daughter, would be to be realistic about what parenthood really is. I had a friend wanting to get pregnant with their first child aks me my thoughts about it and I remember writing a heart-felt response with the general idea of "If you want a cute little baby, then no, don't do it - but if you're interested in actually raising a productive member of society and all of the ups, downs, frustrations, heartache that entails, then yes - and good luck."

Parenthood is incredible. Incredibly rewarding and incredibly frustrating ~ often times at the exact moments! It will make you full of pride, full of despair, and everything in between - but most of all, full of love. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world and I'm so very grateful for the title of "Mom."

Now, off to go play in the beautiful 72-degree January day! Life is good. Carpe Diem! :)

Hello, 2012!!

2012-01-02T12:05:00.001-06:00

A new year. Another trip around the sun complete. 2011 was a tumultuous year and I'm grateful to leave it behind and begin 2012 hopeful for great things. Day 2 and so far, so good.

I am going to focus on a few things this year.

1. Myself. I need to find some better balance in my life. I need to be better at prioritizing and time management. Much of this can be accomplished with the use of the calendar ~ scheduling and sticking to things. I am notorious for blowing off things that are for me and I need to stop doing it. It seems like the "easy" solution in the moment but it's eating away at my own happiness longer term and fueling resentment and frustration. From scheduling time with Zane (see #2), Natalie (see #3), my friends (#4), to even the mundane things like going to the eye doctor, dentist, etc.

2. My marriage. Obviously, this is a huge need and priority. A marriage should always be a high priority, but mine is especially precarious after our crisis last year (that sounds really good to say it was "last year") and I really want to continue to work diligently in this department. I grew up dreaming of being a wife and a mom and I know that I've fallen short on even my own expectations of myself in both areas. I know the type of wife I need to be and I know that the rewards of those efforts are so plentiful. It is truly a matter of just doing it. And I'm going to.

3. My parenting. While I spend a lot of time with Natalie Grace, I am really wanting to focus this year on spending better time with her. She is at an age where she still very much wants to hang out with us and do things with us. I know that I sometimes think about schooling and the driving to practice and think "I spend TONS of time with her" but just in the last couple of days, I have made a pointed effort to make some time to just have fun and play. Not that we didn't do that before, but it was getting to be less and less time and I want to change that pattern. I really enjoy her company and love doing things with her ~ and I want her to know and feel that!

4. My friends. This is a big one despite being #4 on my list. I definitely end up seeing my friends a lot less than I should. It is no one's fault other than my own. I don't make the time. I need to get on the phone and schedule get-togethers. I need to just make it happen. I love my ladies dearly and we all need that time, so I'm going to be better about that in 2012. :)

Homemade Christmas II: Niece & Nephew Gifts

2011-12-26T16:12:00.002-06:00

Part II of our Home-made Christmas ~ The gifts for my nieces & nephews.

I saw the idea for a Fort Kit here. I thought it was a genius idea and started collecting supplies.

The 3 kits. 1 for each of my nephews and 1 for Natalie Grace:

Natalie's Kit:
Outer bag & accessory bag from a pillowcase I got at Goodwill - $0.50
Rope from Dollar Store: $1
Glow Sticks from Dollar Store: $1
Flashlight from Dollar Store: $1
(Batteries for said flashlight): $1
Suction cups from Walmart: $2.50
Sheet from Goodwill: $1
Clips: $2
Ties from old T-shirt: Free
Tag: Printed on cardstock at home: Free
TOTAL ~~~~~~~~ $9.50

Wouldn't you know it's her favorite :)

My nephew's kit. Sheet, accessory bag (the sheet came in it!), and rope.

Since I had to buy the sheet new, this one was a *little* bit more. I think $13 total. (Still very reasonable!)

Added loops/ties on the corners, mid-way points of the straight edges, and in the overall center of the sheet:

Sewn in an "X" for durability (in theory) :)

For the 4-month old, we opted for a little initial "taggie blanket." I got this idea here. I loved the general concept. Natalie found the fabrics at Hobby Lobby and the ribbons were ones I had on hand. In general, I would have preferred the ribbons to have different textures, but I love the way it came out either way ~ the bright colors, the contrasting stripes and polka dots - and the satiny feel on the back. Merry Christmas, Baby A!

And this one for the 4-year old. I got this idea here. She posts a downloadable version you can just print, cut, and glue, but I wanted to personalize a little more than that, so I used some scrapbook paper Natalie carefully chose at ... yep, Hobby Lobby. I had the little bag from some buttons I bought at a craft store years ago (that now live in jars) and it worked perfectly for this. A quick little photoshop for a tag (directions photoshopped in opposite colors on the back) and VOILA! A Popsicle Memory Game. She beat me twice in a row when we played it last night! :)

Had so much fun with each of these!!

Homemade Christmas 2011: Part I

2011-12-25T15:20:00.000-06:00

This year, we opted to do a home-made Christmas and it was truly the best Christmas! We all put a lot of thought into everything and had a great time doing it!!

New office workspace - Please take note of the drink coasters on the desk by Natalie :):

Open Frame with ZNT (by Traci)

Photoshop project in frame of the cattle year of 2011 by Natalie:

New work-box by Natalie (and some help from Zane):

Desk by Zane:

The rest of the pics to come. Merry Christmas, y'all!

I'm supposed to be grateful

2011-12-06T09:43:00.001-06:00

I'm supposed to be grateful the tree is still standing according to my dear friend who had an incident a few years ago with some cats knocking over the entire Christmas tree!! And yes, I am glad it isn't to that point ... yet .... We found these ornaments de-treed this morning:

And apparently he didn't just go for just the low ones --- as evidenced by the blue star referenced in the last tree post and also:

Honey Badger doesn't give a #*@(&!

Damn Cat!

2011-12-04T09:56:00.001-06:00

Toby, our newest kitten is causing all kinds of havoc with the Christmas tree. This morning I hear a "Mom! COME QUICK!!" and come to the living room to find this guy IN the tree.

Notice that he's right by the blue star --- and where the blue star is in relation to the "whole" tree (Yes, I know the picture isn't in focus, but you get the idea regardless). Also disregard the child standing on my furniture :)

Stupider than I look

2011-12-02T13:44:00.001-06:00

I must be stupid. At least, according to my 8-year-old.

This is the outfit in question:

And before practice, she was told to hang up the clothes (as they hadn't been worn long enough to be "dirty") and to get her suit on.

I find the clothes like this ~ in the closet, next to the swim suits, mind you:

When asked if she hung up her clothes before practice, she was emphatic, "YES!"

When pressed on why I wouldn't believe that, she got a bit combative, "I DID hang them up. They must have just fallen"

Even funnier about this is that the two shirts and the jeans would have been hung in completely different places in the closet - none of which would be right above this pile ... let alone been able to fall in an exact pile looking like she took them off right there. I mean, for Pete's sake, the shirts are still layered!

She finally came clean when I said, "I can guarantee what happened here. You changed into your suit right here and the clothes are right where you threw them off. In fact, I am willing to bet money there are still underwear in the jeans."

Ding, ding, ding!! I win!! But not until we had already had yelling, tears, screaming, and spankings from both mom and dad. Oh, the fun!

Guess I'm not as stupid as I look after all! :)

**Yes, I did take a picture of the clothes and have her put them back on to re-create the outfit .... as the clothes were from yesterday, but were discovered today. She wasn't thrilled about me blogging it, but I can assure you she didn't dare complain HA!

Edited to add:

Even better is that a few hours after posting this, the song below comes on and Natalie chimes in, "Ummm, I don't think this is the best song for the day."

Supercharged Science

2011-12-01T20:42:00.001-06:00

I received an email newsletter from the author of our math curriculum, as I do every month. I have noticed that periodically she will mention a science curriculum [Supercharged Science] offering a freebie in the way of an online class.. Today, it finally worked together to get Natalie on the webcast. It was amazing!!

Today's presentation was about Astronomy and went through each of the planets and then discusses different galaxies, quasars, pulsars, and more. We had to leave early in the presentation to get to practice, but it was so engaging and just ... wonderful to listen to this super personable real-life rocket science with a passion for sharing *her* passion with children ... my child.

We will still continue using our other science program we're already using (and love), but this was just phenomenal ~ the way she approached it all was just so fun and engaging which is so great for everyone to get with science!!

Thankful 2011

2011-11-30T09:37:00.000-06:00

I did the November Thankful posts again on FB. I missed a few days, but overall, it was a fun month of keeping track of even some of the smaller things that make life good. I kept this blog in draft until I completed it, but here is my list:

11/1: Today, I am thankful for game nights with friends :)

11/2: Today, I am thankful for the opportunity to home school my daughter and see her grow so much. She is incredible at her school work and seeing her learn how to truly THINK has been such a refreshing gift!

11/3: Today, I am thankful for my job as a housewife the last 8 1/2 years. This is in conjunction with "National Housewives Day." It doesn't make a glamorous resume but the sense of success and accomplishment can't be measured. I truly believe it to be the most important job anyone could ever hold and, done right, is an incredibly hard and demanding job.

11/4: Today, I am thankful for unconditional love. Giving and receiving.

11/5: Today, I am thankful for the smiling faces of my nieces and nephew this morning when I went to pick up Natalie. Love those kids.

11/6: Today, I am thankful for some amazing friends who love me and my family, know me so well, and have complete confidence in me.

11/7: Today, I am thankful for our firstborn, Austin James. Though he was born silent and still, the impact of his short life was immeasurable. Because of him, I met some amazing friends, forged a deeper relationship with Zane, and completely changed my parenting of Natalie. Life is so precious and the only guarantee we have is the now. Always loved and never forgotten.

11/8: Today, I am thankful for good friends and a glass of wine. :)

11/9: Today, I am thankful for how when life hit a low, I have been able to really open up the walls around my heart and let myself be vulnerable. I am learning a lot about myself, my marriage, my husband, and my life.

11/10: Today, I am thankful for Zane. My husband, my best friend, and the greatest teammate I've ever had. We have been together for 10 years and been through a lot .... together. He has been my "soft place" through so many things and experiences. We have encountered some rocky roads, but even right now, I am so grateful for his love and compassion as we navigate these uncharted territories.

11/12: Today, I am thankful for college football. I love watching the games and following the rankings. It is a great game ... Before they all get ruined by the NFL :P

11/13: Today, I am thankful to live in TX with the most incredible weather most of the year. A high of 80 today. Bliss.

11/14: Today, I am grateful for the way the 3 of our schedules work out so we can grill burgers for lunch ... on a Monday :)

11/15: Today, I am thankful Natalie & Zane can share their passion of animals with our show cattle. Yesterday, we had a new baby born out of a special cow of ours - One we are partnered with our good friends on ~ that some very special girls helped us show many years ago ~ and the baby's daddy is a bull of some good friends we've met on this crazy journey of stock shows, Deuces Are Wild. Welcome to the world, baby Autumn! :)

11/16: Today, I am thankful for oversize bathtubs with jets - filled with hot water and Sweet Pea soap :)

11/17: Today, I am thankful for Natalie Grace. She is so strong-willed, determined, smart, athletic, and loving ~ I couldn't have dreamed up a better fit to be our daughter! ♥

11/18: Today, I'm thankful for second chances.

11/20: Today, I am thankful for vacation! Zane is off for a few days and we have some good projects and activities planned. And for today: food, family, and football. Go cowboys!

11/21: Today, I am thankful for our home. It's more than just a house to protect us from the cold rain tonight. It is our home. I love the way it just completely "works" for us - the layout is ideal for us and I love that!

11/22: Today, I am thankful for the side benefit of diving...babysitting while we sneak away for a "dinner" of wings, chips, and queso. :)

11/23: Today, I am thankful for the Laundry Fairy who came by my house yesterday and got my laundry all caught up AND put away. Thanks, Zane! It is truly appreciated and made my Wednesday much happier! :) **I was later informed he would prefer "Laundry Prince" :)

11/24: Today, I am thankful for the fun traditions we have been able to create with our little family ~ and how excited Natalie gets about it each and every year. We don't even always celebrate Thanksgiving on the right day, but it IS a fun time -- Cornish hens, mashed sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, rolls, apple pie ~ and capped with the Christmas tree assembly, a Cowboys win, and some Charlie Brown. Life is good :)

11/25: Today, I am thankful for my brother and family living back in the metroplex -- and the dinner he cooked me and my family tonight! :)

11/26: Today, I am thankful for my college (University of Washington) ~ I learned a lot academically and about life and met some of my greatest friends ♥ .... and for APPLE CUP SATURDAY!! GO Huskies!!

11/27: Today, I am thankful for the Christmas spirit around our house ~ We are all working on our gifts as part of our home-made Christmas we're doing this year. I'm really excited them!! :)

11/30 ~ Today, I am thankful for vacation time from work! Zane has been off the last week and a half and it was much-needed, much-appreciated, and as always - much too short. ♥

Moving Forward

2011-11-18T07:12:00.001-06:00

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.......
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-13

4 weeks & 1 day ago, we threw in the proverbial towel and filed for a divorce to end our 9+ year marriage. It was not a decision made in haste or anger, but moreso out of desperation. We have been working on some of our issues for the entire marriage (as all marriages have to do!) yet were still at a sinking low that felt unsurpassable. It was truly to a point that despite truly wanting to be married ~ to Zane ~ I was willing to admit defeat and hope like heck that we could be like those stories you hear of couples being great friends after a divorce.

I had several conversations with friends and family via text, email, and phone in the day or two following the filing. Time was ticking away toward our final hearing. We were in a state of hell ~ anger, resentment, sadness. And then, in one specific moment, there was a large shift. I remember clearly the exact moment. We were arguing and as I walked away, I had this overcoming feeling of sorrow, sympathy .... love. In that exact moment, I saw not only how hard all of this had been on myself, but I could see it in Zane's face, the toll it was taking. I made a conscious decision at that moment to change my approach ~ for whatever may come our way. I couldn't fight anymore. I couldn't be angry. I was just in a place where I was willing to be grateful for the amazing times we've had, accept the bad ones, and move forward.

Within the next day or so, I had a conversation which further set in motion a huge change in my mind and heart. I had a lengthy discussion with Zane about my revelations and for the first time in a few months, I felt hopeful. Hopeful that we were understanding each other. Hopeful that there could be a future with us together.

Over the last couple of weeks, the discussions have been many and lengthy. This isn't something you just gloss over and say "oh well, moving right along." It has been a precarious balance to walk .... being hopeful yet making plans in case this *is* our final fate. I found an apartment for Natalie and me that I love and talked to the new school about what we would need to do to transition Natalie as smoothly as possible. But none of that is what I really want for my life. What I want is to be a family. A married couple.

Could we sustain what we were working on? Was there room in there for us to find a new marriage? Eventually, it came down to something so simple: We're both happier than we were, we both want to be married, we both love each other, and we both want to see the other happy and are willing to work toward that. So the answer is yes ~ we CAN get through this.

I planned on filing for an extension on the divorce to give things time to work out (or not). Ultimately, I decided that's not the right way to go into this. We need to just file to dismiss it altogether. We will get through this. It isn't doing either of us any good to have an "out" available. The only way to get through it is with the love, commitment, and work.

So that's where we are ~ Moving forward.

And now for the next version of FAQ's.

Do you regret filing?

No. I don't. I regret that things deteriorated to that point. I regret that we were allowing ourselves to argue, be resentful, and not really get to the core of what was really going on. I regret that it took getting to that low to really abandon everything and be completely honest with ourselves and with each other.

Do you regret being so public about it and now having to eat your words?

No. I really believe the public nature about it really helped us to each finally just be real. It allowed us to take some time from other obligations where nobody felt like we were slighting them - to work on our family in crisis. And .... I learned so much about the people in my life. Evaluating some of these relationships and the effects they have had on our marriage ... and also in how people have reacted to the news. As the saying goes, "You find out who your friends are..."

Vulnerability . . .

2011-11-10T10:28:00.000-06:00

The problem with vulnerability is that you're placing your own heart into someone else's hands and care and trusting them to guard it, treat it with care, and reciprocate. And to be in a marriage, that is what is ultimately necessary to do and have. Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you choose to look at it), everyone comes into a relationship with their past experiences. After all, it is those experiences that have shaped us, grown us, and even in some cases, jaded us. It's all part of what makes us who we are.

In my own case, I really do like who I am and because of that, I wouldn't change my past. However, there are fibers in the fabric of me that I really would like to remove. Unfortunately, that just isn't possible. And as has been said, "Sometimes that just sucks." Yes, it does. I go through life with some walls and insecurities cultivated from a number of places. This isn't blaming my childhood or my past for my adult issues, but it is just all part of the bigger picture.

My childhood was tumultuous in many respects and that, undoubtedly, had an impact on how I view love, commitment, security, etc. I had some relationships in college that really changed me. In many ways, I learned so much about life and myself that you can't really call them "bad" relationships. But they left their mark. Then I met Zane and it was a completely different type of person for me. He is a great balance and complement to me in so many ways. I think that is apparent in our interactions. And then there was drama (to put it mildly) with his family at the beginning of our relationship. More marks.

Because a marriage involves 2 individual people, it also combines 2 sets of these "marks" or "fabrics." He comes to the marriage with an aversion to emotion. I understand where it comes from, but it still hurts to be "pushed away" ~ especially when my own heart craves that emotion and reassurance. It all sets things in a negative downhill spiral. We have been to a marital counselor about it. Obviously, this is a common problem in marriages (men vs. women emotions), but the divide has been deepening. We have been through the Five Love Languages ~ and interestingly, my 1-2-3-4-5 is his 5-4-3-2-1. It makes it hard to reach out to each other in the language they need/crave. Obviously, we're good on #3 ;)

I have known that Zane loves me, but to actually feel it and trust it ~ another thing. It is scary and feels almost foolish to allow myself to be completely vulnerable. Obviously, I have been vulnerable to a degree for the last 10 years, but it's another thing to completely abandon the fear and protective walls.

The discussions that have popped up over the last few weeks have been gut-wrenching, emotional, and enlightening. I have had a few "light bulb" moments ~ one in particular with regard to Zane's heart and one with regard to my own.

We have thrown everything out on the table (as mentioned in my Remodel post) and I will speak for myself in saying that I am definitely the most vulnerable I've ever been in my life .... and for the most part, it is a refreshing feeling. My hope for our future is growing and I'm so grateful for his care, concern, and love ~ and his own vulnerability in opening up his own heart!

National Housewives Day

2011-11-03T14:30:00.001-05:00

Today is National Housewives Day and as part of my 30 Days of Thanks on Facebook, I copied a friend and mentioned my thanks for being housewife for the last 8 1/2 years. I used to see the term "housewife" as a derogatory term and have struggled for years with answering the "What do you do?" question when I meet people.

Today, when I posted this, I had a few more thoughts. Some of my own and some spurred by the comments/likes from friends. I have several friends who work outside of the home. Some with "jobs" for extra income and some with "careers" to make the household operate financially. Some of them "wish" they could be "stay-at-home-moms" (housewives) and some swear they couldn't hack it.

For me, being a housewife was a choice. It was a choice to raise my only child. It was a choice to go without some things ~ stylish clothes, fancy vehicles (though I'm completely content with the vehicles we have had!), the big/fancy house, lavish vacations, weekend getaways (though we've had our fair share of these, too!), and other toys - boat, in-ground pool, etc.

It was a choice to be a completely hands-on parent. In making the decision to home school Natalie, the choice deepened. I (and by I, I mean "we" - Zane and I made these decisions together over the years) chose to be hands-on in her education, sports, spiritual life, animals, social life, and our family dynamic. Does that mean I've done it all right? No, of course not. But like my friends, working and not, it's been with the intent of doing the best job.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been working on my resume and this has been a hot topic of my google searches. How do you handle 8 years of being a wife and mom. I absolutely recognize the value I've had, but how do you quantify that and get it on paper -- where it can accurately depict the job done? One could say that the family and children are the "proof" of the work done. I think that is a very dangerous approach. Marriages fail for a multitude of reasons -- with both housewives and working wives.

Using children as a measure of parenting success is even more dangerous in my opinion. In my case, I have an only child. Have only one chance to "get this right." But at the end of the day, we can't control our children's actions. We can merely teach them, show them, train them, and hope like hell they make the right decisions when the time comes. But if they don't, does that mean I failed? Absolutely not! It means she made bad decisions.

Regardless, being a housewife is certainly not for everyone, but it's been an incredible job for ME. I've loved knowing what's going on, being able to volunteer with various activities, and being able to structure a household around only one job schedule ~ and even given the chance to go back and make a different decision, I would do it the same!

"Housewife Day recognizes the importance of stay at home wives and moms. These wonderful, caring creatures, build and enrich strong family environments. They help to instill family values and good character. Today, we celebrate and thank all of the ladies who choose to stay home and tend to the house and family!"

Happy Halloween

2011-10-31T16:18:00.001-05:00

From a little jellyfish!

She is so proud of her bag she sewed yesterday! Okay, so it was a tie-die shirt she made in Jamaica that she turned into a sack. Love it! :)

Major Remodeling Project ?

2011-10-31T14:21:00.001-05:00

I have likened our current marital situation (pending divorce) to a home with major water damage. We've had some underlying issues that we've been able to paint over and make everything look pretty and fine. And it HAS been fine. But eventually, the water damaged walls start to mold, cause health problems, and wreak havoc on lives all without being seen. Can the damage be fixed? Sure, but it's a lot of work and requires a complete rework.

In our marriage's case, we recognized the effects of the "poison," but it took the divorce papers being filed and the ensuing discussion of "What really happened here?" to really break it all down. I think Zane said it best: "It's easier to be honest when you have nothing (more) to lose." We've basically ripped the wall apart, have taken the contaminated insulation, rotten boards, corroded wiring, etc. all out and are taking the inventory of what it would take to rebuild a stronger, healthier home with quality components.

For me personally, this means taking a hard look in the mirror and really assessing what I see and feel. I've never claimed to be perfect or the "right" one, but I haven't necessarily realized the level to which some of my emotions stem from. The comments from those in my life have certainly been enlightening. Several have mentioned that I haven't "been myself." I will admit, at first, that hearing that gave me a sense of "See? I told you I haven't been happy," but as I think about it more, I'm seeing that this is perhaps more of a downhill spiral both of us have been in. Unhappy creates unhappy. Stubborn spurs stubborn.

So for today, we are in a state of really assessing our lives - together and the prospect of apart - and being honest with ourselves and each other. The love, respect, and desire to be married is certainly on our side, but some bad patterns have to be broken and rebuilt before we can have the "house" (in my remodel analogy) we are both wanting! I remain hopeful and committed to the happiness of all three of us ... however we may best achieve that. For today, however, things are looking better than they have in quite some time and I'm grateful for that!

A note from the trenches

2011-10-27T15:59:00.000-05:00

I'm debating how I want to handle my current life situation and my very public blog. On one hand, this is my real life. On the other, this involves two other people who aren't necessarily asking to be publicly displayed through the process. There isn't much to report other than we are in a holding pattern with regards to the court system. There is the mandatory waiting period and there is nothing we can do to speed that up.

There has been a lot of talking, digging deep, reality checks, tears, and searching going on around here. I've spent a lot of my energy on really reflecting on my own behaviors, choices, wants, needs. Unfortunately, I'm not completely happy with what I've seen in my mirror so my personal goal right now is to dig to the core of it and really address it. Not blame anyone else, not take on blame that isn't mine, but work through my "baggage" and see where my head/heart are as I do.

We are feverishly working to restructure our household in a way that may be more conducive to each of us. Scheduling, planning, communicating.

Nothing is fixed; there are no solutions or answers at this point. But we are in the process of making some significant changes in our house as an attempt to be able to more clearly and effectively get to the bottom of all of this and see where that leads us.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
-Mahatma Gandhi

Growing with patience

2011-10-26T18:54:00.002-05:00

Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.

-Joseph Addison

Animal Afternoon

2011-10-24T22:43:00.001-05:00

This afternoon, I got out of the shower and looked outside to see this:

I went out to get some pics and asked her to just let me know next time she's going to be in with the animals (notice the bull in the background (who, ironically, looks like he has 2 additional legs, HA!)

She said "I like it when he gets grumpy and shows his teeth:

Had to try to get a picture of Toby AKA "The Honey Badger" playing in the TX Sage.

I think Natalie is a little confused on the distinction of calf vs. puppy

So is the cat.

She loves this part!!

Love that sweet girl who is so good with the animals!

Crafts + Color + Jars = HAPPY

2011-10-23T18:53:00.000-05:00

Natalie and I were going through craft supplies and moved them into glass jars this weekend ~ I love them, but I love crafts, I love bright colors, and I love glass jars, so what's not to love? :)

FAQs after my last post

2011-10-22T08:50:00.000-05:00

First let me just say THANK YOU!! I am so grateful for the amazing outpouring of love from so many of my friends near and far. You have all absolutely lifted my spirits and given me a bit more "pep in my step" with your sweet messages, funny comments, and love and prayers.

There seems to be a recurring theme:
"I never would have thought this"
"I had no clue"
"In complete shock"

The reality, however, is that this is not shocking. Not shocking to Zane or myself. Incredibly painful and difficult, but not shocking. Like I mentioned previously, the discord has been present for some time. We have had these issues since before we ever even got married, but the good in our relationship made us each brush it aside and, I guess, think things would just grow to be better. We have been married for 9 years (and almost 2 months) and it has been an incredible marriage and we have an amazing family. This doesn't take away from any of what we have had.

So why get divorced? I know it sounds so contradictory to explain the great things in our marriage and our family while saying we're going to "dissolve the marriage." It is a complex series of emotions and needs that have led to this point, but we are both confident (as confident as you can be in a situation like this, I guess) that this is in the best interest of the 3 of us at this point.

What's Sixty-One days?
Texas law has a required 61-day waiting period on divorced proceedings from the day the papers are filed. We will have a final hearing where the judge's orders will be given on our final decree.

What about the house?
Zane will continue living in our home. Natalie will keep her bedroom "as-is" and Zane will continue the cattle business on the property.

Who filed?
I did. We both talked amicably about it and went over the paper work together, but I was the one who physically wrote the check and filed the papers at the courthouse.

Will you go back to work?
Yes. I will be working to support my new household.

Will Natalie go back to public school?
Yes. She will be going back to school as I will need to work. We have taken special care to look into her options and I am carefully choosing where I will live based on schools' zoning.

Are you going to stay in Texas?
Yes. I will remain in the general area.

Who will have custody?
I will have "primary" physical custody. Natalie will live with me "most" of the time. Zane's schedule is difficult, at best, to manage a school schedule and the like. However, we will continue to work together in her best interest and she will have 2 homes where she is loved, wanted, and welcome any time.

What about the animals?
They will all stay with Zane. Pet deposits are outrageous and it's just not something I'm wanting to take on as I embark on this chapter. Things may change in 3, 6, 12 months and I will re-evaluate as we go. I know it will break Natalie's heart not to have her cat, Kami, with her, but this is the plan for today.

Is it hard to continue to live with someone you know you're getting divorced from?
It isn't hard with regard to fighting (we're not). It's just hard to absorb it all. Hard to comprehend how very much life is changing for all of us. We are living separately (as much as possible under one roof) and are working on "trying out" our schedule with regard to his time with Natalie.

Is there any chance of you guys working this out?
Anything is possible. I'm moving forward as though this is the absolute reality. I would not have filed for divorce if I thought this was something we could just kiss and make up over. However, I am open to hope and will remain that way.

Are you okay?
I am okay. I feel confident in the decision despite the sadness, hurt, anger that comes along. I am focused on finding the ME in myself again and living a life for Natalie and myself.

Sixty-One

2011-10-20T18:41:00.003-05:00

Sixty-One days. That's how long I have left as a wife in the state of Texas. My most cherished role in my life. The title of "mom" comes when you give birth, but "wife" is a gift bestowed by someone who loves you enough to make that commitment to you. The discord has been long-standing and has been masked by the amazingly good life and great balance we bring to each other in most ways, but it's always there and has a sneaky way of rearing its ugly head at the most inopportune times - and has been increasing in frequency as well as intensity to a point that our home environment is no longer what any of us would like to be.

So today, on what would normally been a day of celebration in our house for a birthday, the painful decision to end a marriage and break up a family was made. Three angry and hurting hearts will hopefully be soothed with time and efforts from each of us.

My prayer is that everyone can hold onto the good that we've had and forgive, grow, and love through this to all of our "new" normals.

Ready, Set, GO!

2011-10-09T21:08:00.000-05:00

Hang on ~ It's a speed catch-up on this crazy life here!

School has been going exceptionally well this year. We are using Math Mammoth & Connect the Thoughts. This was a science assignment as they're studying geology. She had to make a clay diagram of the Earth's crust and add labels. She opted to do a combination of clay and photoshop. I think she did a fantastic job!

Tonight, Natalie and I wrapped up our weekend with ice cream. Ice cream led to chocolate syrup which got traded for hot fudge topping, whipped cream, sprinkles, and cherries. I learned that if you over-microwave the hot fudge topping, it WILL bubble over and make a huge mess. :)

College football is in full swing here at our house. September 17th, our 2 teams played each other for the 3rd time in 364 days. Unfortunately, Nebraska came away with the win - in a huge way. But it was a fun weekend regardless here cheering on the Huskers and Huskies

I just love this picture!! It is Natalie playing with some die-cast airplanes my younger brother spent HOURS playing with when he was younger. Glad she can enjoy them ~ on a map of the San Juan Islands of all things :)

Natalie has decided the new kitten, Toby, needs to be bathed regularly. Thank goodness the little guy is a good sport and goes along with it :) He will just walk around the bathtub like it's normal to be in there. Sweet cat - we've really enjoyed him!

This is pure heaven for a girl who loves horses. We found a girl who is going to be doing some riding lessons with Natalie. She did great on her first time out on Colonel, a 32 yr old horse! She was able to get him all around the arena ~ walk, trot, gallop ~ and then stop him.

Diving is the one thing not going so hot right now. She made this folder for the annual folder contest ~ and won 1st place. It's a little sketch of each of her dives on the 1-meter board which I thought was pretty clever and cute. 2 weeks ago, she hit her head on the board for the first time which was a sobering experience for she and I alike. Things are getting better and they're working with her to get her back doing the same dives in no time and I'm confident her determination will pay off!

Just for fun ~ a couple math problems we were doing last week. The first was easy and made perfect sense to me. We figured out the 2nd with trial & error ~ I still can't find the mathematical way to do it. And the 3rd makes SO much more sense to me when they just use real numbers. Lack of abstract thinking ability on my part, I think.

These last 2 just because they sum up the craziness of my life ~ Natalie's "Crazy Hair" for Saturday morning practice and her drinking chicken stock out of my big bowl .... with a straw. Never a dull moment.....nor am I ready for there to be :)

PBS Kids vs. American Academy of Pediatricians

2011-10-09T17:00:00.001-05:00

Last week, I was listening to the radio in the car (on a station that touts itself as family oriented and even has the tagline "Safe for the Whole Family" nonetheless) and heard a commercial that literally appalled me. I am known for being incredibly opinionated, but this was more than just having an opinion. I have now heard it several times and I'm truly disgusted. Disgusted , in part, by the station itself, but moreso the message in the commercial. To recap, it went along these lines:

There is a mother speaking about her day with her 2 preschoolers at home. She goes through their day and includes lines such as:

"We had breakfast with The Wiggles" (1 show)
"We did a craft with Kelly with items I have around the house" (perhaps not a show, but still on the TV)
"We took a walk down Sesame Street and visited Elmo's World" (2 shows)
"Watched Super Why" (3 shows)
"Dad came home, we jumped into pajamas and did stretching with Nina on The Goodnight Show" (4 shows)
(There were 2 more mentioned that I can't recall the exact quote [Sunny Side Up Show & Caillou equaling another hour of television for these 2 preschoolers)

This all equates to over THREE HOURS of television. Not only is it overkill on the TV time, but it's portrayed as if these shows are helping these children. Granted, I realize there is some educational things in these shows, but television is not THE way to educate young children.

My other issue with this is that it is in direct contradiction to the recommendations by the American Academy of Pediatricians (AAP). In fact, they have released the following here:

TV and ToddlersIt may be tempting to put your infant or toddler in front of the television, especially to watch shows created just for children under age two. But the American Academy of Pediatrics says: Don't do it! These early years are crucial in a child's development. The Academy is concerned about the impact of television programming intended for children younger than age two and how it could affect your child's development. Pediatricians strongly oppose targeted programming, especially when it's used to market toys, games, dolls, unhealthy food and other products to toddlers. Any positive effect of television on infants and toddlers is still open to question, but the benefits of parent-child interactions are proven. Under age two, talking, singing, reading, listening to music or playing are far more important to a child's development than any TV show. For more information on your child's health, visit www.aap.org.

Obviously this is aimed at children aged birth-2 years and Sprout is aimed at preschoolers (so ages 3-5 we'll use for this opinion here). Regardless, the AAP has this covered as well. They address their recommendations for television for children and adolescents here. Yep, I'd say this covers preschoolers that Sprout aims for as well.

Pediatricians should recommend the following guidelines for parents:
Limit children's total media time (with entertainment media) to no more than 1 to 2 hours of quality programming per day.

Remove television sets from children's bedrooms.

Discourage television viewing for children younger than 2 years, and encourage more interactive activities that will promoteproper brain development, such as talking, playing, singing, andreading together.

Just to note above that the AAP is recommending that we, as parents, limit children's total media time (WITH entertainment media - i.e. ipad, ipod, DS, Xbox, Wii, etc.) to no more than 1-2 hours per day. Also remember that many kids have some of this type of entertainment in school (my daughter watched Magic School Bus at school more than I'd like to even think about) and in daycare settings.

In the end, all parents really do want the best for their children and I think are truly fooled into thinking that the TV shows on a channel such as this is helping them and their children. It just disgusts me that a television station would advertise behaviors in direct contradiction to the AAP who are highly regarded as THE voice on things such as car seat safety and other issues. I personally trust the AAP more than I do PBS who is trying to sell parents on their Sprout TV for Preschoolers --- who are then sold on the products advertised.

New Behavior System

2011-10-04T19:53:00.000-05:00

We're trying a new behavior system here in our house. We just started late in the day, so no word on the effectiveness yet, but I'm optimistic and see this being a success for a fair amount of time.

The plan. I think this is self explanatory. + for good deeds, - for the behaviors we are trying to address, and rewards to "buy"

Using Poker Chips for the currency (White = 1, Red = 5, Green =10, Blue=20, Black=50)

Of course, I will update on this after we've had a chance to really give it a try. Would love to hear any ideas that are similar (or not)!

Crock Pot Macaroni & Cheese

2011-10-02T16:41:00.000-05:00

I could have sworn I posted this one before, but I guess not. I got it from one of those recipe booklets at the grocery store checkout years ago and it is a huge hit in our house.

Crock Pot Macaroni & Cheese

3 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
2 1/2 cups Milk
1 large egg, beaten
1 tsp salt
8 oz macaroni, cooked al dente

The instructions in the recipe are as follows:

Combine all ingredients except macaroni in slow cooker. Add a dash of pepper to taste.
Cook on high 1 hour
Add macaroni. Cook on low 4 more hours.

My slow cooker may be hotter than theirs or something, but I add the macaroni and leave it on high for another ONE hour.

I have always been a complete fan of the frozen Stouffer's Mac and Cheese, but this one tops it for me and is a fall/winter favorite around here!!

Sticky Sunday: 10/2/11

2011-10-02T06:08:00.000-05:00

[I really missed doing these!!!]

Cooking with chicken

2011-09-30T22:39:00.000-05:00

Yes, I take a(nother) month hiatus from blogging and my first blog back is without pictures and is merely about cooking a chicken. But I'm fairly certain that if I don't just jump back in with both feet, I may not ever blog again and since it's something I love, I'm just going to .... jump back in.

One of Natalie's school assignments instructed us to buy a whole chicken (and cook & eat it). I must say how impressed I am with A) how easy it is and B) our innovation with using the chicken meat.

Yesterday, for lunch, I roasted the chicken in the oven (at least I think that's what you call what I did - roasting). I prepped the chicken (simple: Take out the "parts" and rinse it inside and out, place in the pan breast side up, brush with a little olive oil, season (this was a BBQ seasoning) and cover with foil) and baked for a little over 2 hours at 350* (20 minutes per pound or so).

We had chicken and rice for lunch (and dinner for that matter) and then last night, I put the whole carcass in the pot filled with water and boiled it until it was about 1/2 of the pot. I then strained out the bones and Voila! Chicken Stock!

Today, I got to use the stock and chicken to continue the chicken feast.

Lunch: Pesto Chicken Soup

I said no pictures, but snapped this one of Natalie's
leftovers for dinner!

Sauteed Onion (1/2 c. or so)
Chicken Stock (1/2 a pot --- 6-8 c maybe)
Frozen tomatoes (1-2 cans of diced canned tomatoes)
Frozen Green beans (I used the fine ones and chopped them up -- 1/2 a bag)
Chicken (Hmmm --- 2 cups maybe??)
Penne Pasta (about 1/2 of a box)
Salt, Pepper, and Dill to taste
And at the very end, I scooped in a fairly liberal amount of pesto (5 heaping spoons??) and stirred. It was delicious. Fed us all lunch and there are 3 jars of it in the refrigerator as leftovers!

Dinner: Chicken Spaghetti (of some sort)

1/2 box of thin spaghetti noodles, cooked
Diced Chicken (1 1/2 cup or so)
1 can of the "skinny" Cream of Mushroom soup
1 large can of diced green chiles
2 cloves garlic
Frozen tomatoes (1 can, approximately)
Jalapeno salt for flavor
Topped with 1/2 cup shredded cheddar (I would have used a lot more of this IN the dish if I'd had more than the skimpy 1/2 cup I used)
Baked at 350 until the cheese was bubbly

Both were delicious and huge hits in our house .... and made me feel a little bit of pride in my "throw together" cooking skills of late ...

Picture of the Week: 36/52

2011-09-05T18:51:00.001-05:00

I sure love this girl!

A lot of effort for .... shorts??

2011-08-27T15:33:00.000-05:00

Since booking Natalie's Seattle flight, I've been watching their weather. They are having a historically cold summer and here in North Texas, we are having a historically hot (ter than hell) summer! I started watching the 10-day forecast and then re-checked the weather the day before she left. I went to great lengths to be very organized in the packing. After all, we're talking about an 8-year-old flying by herself with only carry-on luggage.

I went through and laid out each of her outfits and then stuffed them in a gallon ziploc for each day. Today had a pair of khaki pants, a brown t-shirt, a purple long sleeve shirt, and then a white long sleeve under armour shirt and her Dallas Cowboys jersey (they play tonight), underwear, and socks. A note on the bag said "+ belt" because her pants are a little big and her underwear show. I told her she could layer the shirts or whatever. Regardless, the low today was in the lower 50's and the high is 73.

So imagine my surprise when I receive the following picture of her in the "Currently 61*" weather.

Now clearly it's not ME who is cold or miserable, so I don't care from that aspect, but I DO care because I spent the time and effort to carefully plan her clothing needs. I wrote her a text "Cute. Where did you get the shorts and flips?" You know, since I certainly didn't pack any clothes of that sort!!

Her response: "Busted. We went shopping yesterday. Burrr"

All of that organization for .... shorts and flip flops!

Next time, perhaps I'll just send an empty bag! :)

She's leavin' on a jet plane

2011-08-26T11:43:00.000-05:00

Natalie took off on her first solo plane trip this morning. It was an early morning to get her to the airport on time and she was definitely feeling a bit anxious. She said mostly she wasn't feeling having a stranger sit next to her which I thought was pretty cute because *I* don't like sitting by strangers either! :)

Unaccompanied minors board the plane first and I had to stay at the gate until they took off, so it was a bit of a wait. Boarding ... boarding ... boarding.

Doors closed and the jetway pulled back. Getting closer.

And off they go.

I was asked how I was feeling about her being gone by herself and really, the only thing I can say is that I feel proud. I'm proud that I can feel confident in her ability, self-confidence, manners, and self-composure to put her on a 2,000 mile, 4-hour plane trip across the country with relative assurance that she will be fine.

I am proud that Zane and I have been able to travel so much with her and show her "the world" in a way that I *know* she is okay!

Here's to a good trip, Natalie Grace .... see you when you get back!! XO

After a hiatus ~ Where I am in life

2011-08-19T07:29:00.002-05:00

Well, it's now August 19 and it's been a while since I've blogged. I actually had my blog "deactivated" (okay, so only visible to me) for the last couple of weeks while I tried to get back in the groove, get semi-settled in life, and try to get back to some writing. I have several things in my head to blog about and hope to get to those soon, but thought I would kind of recap the last couple of weeks/months before moving forward.

The last couple of months have been a whirlwind in many ways. Going back to the end of May, there was an exceptional amount of time, money, and energy spent on that new sport we embarked on last year ... Natalie's diving. When Natalie made it her goal to compete Jr. Olympic (J.O) this season, Zane and I were completely on board. We both love competitive sports, we love her diving, we have an only child, and let's face it ... it's fun when your kid is successful and loving something so much like this. Regardless, weekends in California, Houston, and Georgia (in a 5 week span, at that) was an exhausting way to finish out the competitive season for the year!

Then there's work. Zane has a "real" job that he has to work. There is a schedule and he has to be there when he's scheduled. That's just the way it works. He can't take a day off to join us in our travels. He can't take a day off because there is so much going on at the house he needs to take care of. He can't leave early because someone is coming out to look at cattle. He can't go in late because chores took longer than he anticipated in the morning. Thank goodness the check direct deposits and the benefits aren't too shabby either ;-))

We are also running 2 cattle operations. Granted, one (ours!) is quite a bit smaller than the other, but it's still a lot of work. We are currently in one of our "busy seasons" of this which entails driving ALL over the DFW Metroplex with the cattle trailer picking up babies, bringing them to our house. Some only stay long enough to get "worked" (dehorned, castrated, shots, documented) and others stay until God knows when (Stock Show). We have cows getting bred, we have babies getting worked with. Oh, and let's not miss the part that this is one of the hottest summers on record in the Dallas-Fort Worth area! The calves have to be put in the barn under fans and water misters to keep them alive. The big cows even have a sprinkler running through the heat of the day that they stand in to cool off. Regardless, it's all a lot of work to manage it all. And remember that job of Zane's? Yeah, that means Natalie and I try to do what we can to help out. We can't do it all, but we are all in this together and trying to ease his burden some.

Then there's homeschooling. This is the third year we've been homeschooling, but only the first time we've actually started a year with it. She is in the 3rd grade. I spent a lot of time earlier in the summer researching curriculum ideas and with Zane's input, we finally just "pulled the trigger" so to speak. I completely changed philosophies this year and that's a little scary to jump into. I know the specifics don't matter, but here they are anyway. For Math, I stuck with Math Mammoth. When Natalie came back out of public school in February, we opted to do some topical units (multiplication and division) from them and were really happy with them, so this year we're doing a complete curriculum. We love the conceptual nature of the method and Natalie seems to thrive with it. The instruction is clear and explained in a way that we all seem to "get" so it's a great fit for us. We are currently through 1 Chapter (of 8) of the 4th Grade math. For everything else, that is where I jumped ship this year. We are doing a program called Connect The Thoughts (Lower School). It is a complete different approach from public school and is focused on the student being accountable for their own education and really empowers them to do that. This program includes our science, history, reading, creative writing, and spelling subjects. We are currently finishing our 6th week of school for the year and I am quite pleased with system, Natalie's progress, and how it's all fitting into our life. Getting ready to take our first "break" for the year (why we started mid-July).

As a semi-reprieve, Natalie dropped to only diving 3x/week and doing her trampoline practice 1x/week (on the same day as one of the diving days), so it's been a LOT less driving than the previous couple months had been (4-6 days/week). But have no fear, it's coming back ... 6 days/week will be here in no time!

A lot of Zane and my time and energy has been going to an event we're putting on next month. It is something we got nominated to do during the Stock Show this year as a way to bridge the adult and youth associations of our cattle breed. It has really taken on a life of its own and seems to be taking shape quite nicely, but as with any big event, you never know how it's going to turn out until you do it. And since this is the first of this type we've tried to pull off, I'm a bit anxious about it all. But we just charge through and we'll re-evaluate afterwards to see what to do differently in the future. :)

And then there is the rest of life where all hell seems to have broken loose at various points. Aside from all of the chaos listed above, Natalie has been .... well, a handful. I saw someone post on facebook the following:

I AM A HANDFUL! I'm strong willed, independent, a bit outspoken, and I tell it like it is! I make mistakes. I am sometimes out of control and hard to handle, but I love and give with my WHOLE heart. If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best.

And I don't think it could better describe Miss Natalie Grace (or me, for that matter). We've known she is a "spirited" child for years now. Zane and I work incredibly hard at being consistent, communicative with each other (and her when warranted), structured, and even understanding of her spirit. But when spirit crosses the line to defiance, disrespect, and rudeness, the understanding goes out the window. We have extremely clear expectations and consequences, but there are times when it seems absolutely none of that matters to her. If she wants to do it, she does it. If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't do it. As a parent, that is so incredibly frustrating. You obviously can't force a human to do/not do something. You have to give them the opportunity to make the right choice. And she wasn't. Consistently. It was quite possibly one of the worst months of my parenting life. Yes, a month. There literally wasn't a day that would go by without a fight of some sort. It was the most frustrating, discouraging scenario. Eventually, that little voice pops into your head about being a failure, doing something wrong, etc. Realistically, I recognize that this was something she was going through. Trying to have more independence, feeling a bit "lost" with the change in diving schedule for the rest of the summer, school starting, etc.

But emotionally, it took its toll. As part of the emotional toll, a spotlight was cast on our marriage and how we handle these types of situations. Zane and I have never seen eye-to-eye on emotional issues. I am an emotional creature, he isn't. It's really that simple, but how you navigate that within the marriage isn't as simple, I'm learning. I was really struggling with the issues with Natalie. All I have ever wanted to be in life was a mom and everything seemed to be just unraveling ... and quickly. Zane was frustrated with the issues as well, but had other things going on (see above) and didn't have the words/ideas to "fix" it, so I got frustrated with him. In desperation almost, I ended up making an appointment with a counselor to go sort through some of it. I told Mr. Counselor that I didn't know exactly what I needed, but that the parenting issues were certainly bringing to light something in our marriage that I am unhappy with. It's not a new thing. It's been there since before we ever even got married, but it has been brushed aside.

As life would have it, Natalie's behavior had improved dramatically the few days prior to my appointment, so I wasn't feeling quite as defeated, but I still went to the appointment ... probably in part to avoid the cancellation fee. But it turned out to be a really good experience. Zane and I have a good marriage and we're both "happily married," but there is just this emotional issue that we need to work through. Mr. Counselor has assured us that this is extremely common and will be easily fixable for us. I feel hopeful we will come out of this experience with a stronger marriage and each happier individuals for it all as well.

So ~ in a nut shell, that's where I've been. Coming up in the next couple of weeks, we have a visit from my dad, Natalie is taking a trip to Seattle (flying solo!), our 9th Anniversary, and starting Natalie's 2nd season on the diving team which will be 6 days/week this year.

I feel like I'm in a lot better place and feeling a lot more grounded. I love blogging ~ especially my opinions about things in the world :P and I am looking forward to getting back to it with a little more consistency again! And a huge THANK YOU to my sweet friends who wrote asking where my blog is and why they couldn't read it. It really did make me feel loved to have you guys looking to see what I have to say ... and to check in. Love you all!

8 Years Later

2011-08-05T22:03:00.000-05:00

8 years ago, we were introduced to Natalie Grace:

And now she is all grown up .... okay, not all grown up, but she is a young lady now.

We had a nice day celebrating ... Zane worked, but Natalie did brunch at IHOP, lunch at Chili's with a friend, she had diving practice, and then we went to her favorite, Babe's Chicken, for dinner (for the 3rd birthday in a row HA!) She acts embarrassed but must truly like the birthday chicken hat, the beak, and the flapping her arms like a chicken while they sing to her!

Hard to believe she's EIGHT!

Physically, she has grown a ton, obviously. Born at 7 lbs, 2 oz; 20 1/2 inches long. She's now 60 lbs and 53.5" (4' 5.5").

Mentally she is just growing so much right now. We started school a few weeks ago and I'm seeing such growth in her thought processes and abilities over a year ago. She loves to learn, loves to write, loves to read.

She continues to love diving, love her cattle and other animals, enjoys being silly with her friends yet loves to hang out with adults and help with whatever needs done.

She is polite, mannered, beautiful, smart, driven, focused .... and eight! :)

Just for fun

2011-07-25T06:24:00.002-05:00

YouTube: Natalie's 2010 Zone D Diving Meet - Moultrie, GA

Just a fun little video of Natalie's last diving meet for the season. I missed one dive on the 3-meter board, but it has the other 11 documented. I can't embed it because there is licensed music (new to me!) on there. The song is one Natalie heard on the Pure Country 2 soundtrack and fell in love with. She listened to it all Spring while she worked and worked (and worked!) to try to get a full dive list.

She ended up squeaking one out .... almost literally at the last minute. The night before we flew to Georgia, she wasn't doing one of her dives. When we got there, they intended to change one of them to an 'easier' dive, but then forgot, so on competition day, it was "sink or swim" essentially.

She pulled it out, did great .... and had a great first season. Especially for her age!

Hot summer!!

2011-07-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

We are currently in a 20-something day streak of 100+ temps here in the DFW area. It's hot. It's dry. Perfect summer for our season passes to the water park, though :)

Regardless, I saw this on a friend's Facebook and HAD to share. I don't normally swear or post non-kid-friendly material, but this had to be posted:

Picture of the Week: 29/52

2011-07-20T10:42:00.000-05:00

J.J's first kill (or that we've seen).

This sums it up

2011-07-17T11:00:00.000-05:00

The Toddler Strikes

2011-07-16T16:39:00.000-05:00

I've been stricken by the toddler antics at our house again. No, not a friend. Not a cousin. My 8-year-old (well, so very close to being 8!).

I went to clean my bathroom and found this:

in the bathtub.

Me: Why is there a pile of toilet paper in my bathtub?
NG: I was having fun
Me: It's not fun to see a wasted roll of toilet paper sitting in a pile in my bathtub.
NG: Well, it was fun to do it.

It's 5:00 somewhere, right???

And just in case you were curious, that's a total of 70 squares of toilet paper. Yes, I made her count them.

The nerve of some people!

2011-07-13T10:39:00.000-05:00

Natalie's show heifer from the last year (Ft. Worth, Jackpot Show) got kicked out of the show string effective last night. Natalie originally wanted to continue showing her ... even as she is due to calve in September, Natalie wanted to show her as a Cow/Calf Pair. We have been on board and even were planning on hitting the North Texas State Fair with her. Until last night. Natalie had a change of heart and decided it was time to kick her out ... to be "just" a cow.

Hope thought it was all well, fine, great, and good last night as she was in the bigger "pasture" and ran and bucked around.

And then this morning came. Natalie went and put the other heifers in the barn, under the fans, with their misters.

And Hope stood at the gate being "just a cow":

I really think she's begging me here:

Is that a tear I see??

Poor Hopey!! It's been fun!

1 meter at zones

2011-07-08T19:55:00.001-05:00

Natalie had her best overall event ever. She scored her highest score from either board and just is starting to look like a "real" diver. She placed 22 of 24. Again, age and inexperience. She scored 112.75 pts (vs 101 at regionals in Houston). She is doing great. We had a great time.

But more important perhaps is that we are home!

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Zone D Meet - 3 meter

2011-07-07T11:41:00.000-05:00

We had a safe trip down to Moultrie yesterday and the facility was what everyone describes: great diving facility with platforms, and 4 of each springboard (the pic is only the side of the pool with the tower), hot and muggy, and tons of gnats.

Our morning started with crazy amounts of smoke in the air to add to the wonderful atmosphere of Moultrie.

Natalie woke up in a quiet mood. I think the "bigness" of the meet was really starting to sink in. We got to the pool and she seemed to have a decent warmup. The meet was a really fun one to watch. Several high caliber divers who were just beautiful to watch.

Natalie ended up 22 of 22 and not matching her previous high score on the 3m board. But (thankfully there is a but), she managed to do some things really well. Her killers were her back dive tuck which has been a big issue for the last month so no surprise there, her inward flip due to overrotation (her first time competing this one) and then her back flip due to some twisting (a dive she is scared of). She did her others well and the 1 1/2 had her best scores....of the meet and in the dive ... Ever.

Regardless, she was the youngest and least experienced kid there and it showed. But she made it this far and that alone is such a huge accomplishment. Great things to come, I am certain.

As for us, we are off to see Mr. Popper's Penguins and go out for a team dinner. Tomorrow is the 1-meter competition and then we fly home. :)

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Georgia-bound!

2011-07-06T03:43:00.000-05:00

We are on our way to Georgia for Natalie's USA Diving Zone Championship meet. She will dive 3-meter tomorrow and 1-meter on Friday. Like in the past, I'll try to update as I'm able!

Good luck Natalie Grace! So proud of you for just GETTING there!! You've worked your little self so hard and have come SO far this year. No matter what happens, have FUN and be proud of YOU! Love you!

4th of July ... Low Key!

2011-07-05T12:53:00.000-05:00

We had a low-key 4th of July (after a more eventful 3rd of July, that is). We opted to do a picnic lunch with the dog at the lake. He's never been anywhere other than the vet's office and Natalie has really been antsy to get him out and about, so this seemed like a perfect opportunity!

Swimming was not in our plan, so we didn't dress accordingly. Oh well, a white summery 4th of July dress was plenty suitable. In my defense, it was layered, so wasn't see-through!

The rope swing across the lake:

Ranger learned to swim:

The boys:

Soaking wet and loving it!

Wake up, parents!!!

2011-07-03T07:37:00.003-05:00

Where are parents in the year 2011? Honestly, it seems that many have been left snoozing with the sheets over their heads!! We, collectively, are producing a generation of overweight, lazy, and under-educated children. Sounds like a promising future for our country, doesn't it?

Kids are overweight because parents ~~can't~~ won't set limits and use some dang common sense. Stop buying the crap, don't give in to your kids' demands, and start young! I honestly don't understand how kids' weight problems get SO out of control. Natalie was bigger as a baby, toddler, and even preschooler to some extent. We were conscientious about what we fed her, when we fed her, etc. Sure, it was easier for us because she loves vegetables (anything healthy, really), but the reality is that we could have just thrown a bag of Cheetos her way and called it good! Kids overeat, over-snack, and have been conditioned to the crap food around. Parents are to blame. It's not McDonald's fault. It's not the school's fault. It's parents' fault. Take your kids' health seriously and give them a chance at a healthy adulthood!!

Laziness is closely tied to the overweight piece, but it takes on a role of its own! I'm not talking about "back in my day, kids would play outside all summer and only come home to eat." I realize that the world is very different than it was in say, 1955, and to keep kids active and engaged takes a larger role on the parents' part, but that's what you signed up for in having children!! Turn off the TV (still don't understand how some people have it on all day long!!), grab the keys, and go somewhere. Go DO something. Go to the museum, go to the park, go to Six Flags. Hell, just go do something. Get your kids off their butts and out in the world actively doing something. It's likely they'll learn something out and about, too!

Under-education is obviously a big one for me, but surprisingly to some, I think, I don't blame the schools. I blame the parents (notice a pattern here, today?)!! You absolutely can not send your 4/5/6 year old into the school system and expect them to do the rest from there on out! We have chosen home schooling as our form of schooling, but I honestly don't see anything wrong with using a private or public school setting as A resource for your child's learning. It can't be IT. Nothing should be IT! Parents seem content to just get a report card every 6 weeks with all A's and say "Oh, my kid is so smart and is doing great, learning so much, and going to be well-prepared for college." ****buzzer***** Wrong!! Now I'm not saying there aren't any kids coming out of the system will be ready for college. Obviously, some are and more will be, but the trend isn't looking good for the general track coming out to be in that category. Our standards are so low, our expectations so low, and what an insult to our children to "dumb them down" and essentially tell them this is all they are capable of learning!! Parents need to take an active role in their children's learning. They need to be actively involved in enrichment, in pushing their kids beyond the minimum standards of the schools, and in fully understanding what is going on in their child's school. What's really going on ~ the good and the bad .... and sometimes even the ugly, too!

Obviously, I have strong opinions about all of this! I'm appalled when I look around and see what's going on with my daughter's peer group ... the people that will become adults with her, become parents, and be the next generation of this country.

And we are all worried about gay marriage, the debt ceiling, and who Weiner is tweeting pics to. :)

Another Meet

2011-06-26T16:57:00.000-05:00

This time was a bit closer than they have been lately :) We went over to SMU in Dallas for a Novice meet. Because Natalie has competed at the Regional level as a J.O. diver, her days of diving Novice are over on the springboards, but she can still dive Novice platform. At the 10-11 age, it's just 3 dives: A front jump, a front line up (fall-in dive) and then a dive of choice. Natalie opted for her 1 1/2. Until she got up there to do it, that is. She went back to the 3M to do a few build her confidence. Then back up to the 5M to try. No dice. So she changed to a back jump which is more than fair given this was only her 2nd time on platform. Ever.

She did her competition and was thrilled to tie a teammate for 1st place. Good job, Natalie! So proud of your willingness to get up there and try it. You will get that 1 1/2! <3

And she's on her way:

Down, down, down. 5M seems so high to me watching, but she says it's not that bad.

Getting all set. I'm impressed by the muscles! :)

Tight!!!

Happy Girl. Another successful day at the pool!

Father's Day 2011

2011-06-19T17:51:00.000-05:00

It's Father's Day ~ The day to celebrate fathers all around. I am lucky enough to have 2 dads in my life whom I love dearly and respect so much!

But mostly, I celebrate the father side of my husband. My "partner in crime" if you will :) I am so very grateful for the hard work he puts in to provide an incredible life for Natalie Grace.

She took it upon herself to add some touches to the day in celebration of Dad!

The drink umbrella in the homemade cookies:

The hand made banner:

The little message on the white board this morning:

The paper airplane decorations:

And no party would be a party without a nice little paper chain:

Happy Father's Day, Zane! I LOVE YOU!!

Hawaiian Falls for the afternoon

2011-06-16T09:40:00.000-05:00

We stopped back by the park for a few hours. Still only the wave pool and lazy river open as they work feverishly on the slides, but they had a fun DJ doing kids' games, too. Fun day!!

Natalie ready to take on the boys ... and one girl ... at Ladder Ball:

The toss:

Getting the scoop on the Hula Hoop Contest:

Hula Hoop. She had a better run, but I didn't get it on video

All in a Tuesday

2011-06-14T20:58:00.001-05:00

Well, this "lull" of a few days has been a welcome reprieve, but it seems that it is just filled with different things to do, places to go.

First though, is it possible to get Squash Toxicity? I am semi-serious as we've been having it as/with every single meal for days. In good news, our grocery bill has been cut dramatically. In bad news, my creativity pool is getting depleted and it's only the 14th of June.

Breakfast: Grated globe squash, fried into "hash browns" with an egg on top.

Lunch: Squash Pizza Bites.

Natalie and I finished up the lawn mowing and some household chores in time to leave early for her dive practice ... and stop by the new water park opening between here and the diving pools. They are still under construction due to some delays over the winter, so only the wave pool and lazy river are open, but we had a great time.

At one point, Natalie's tube flipped over and she pops up from the water and says, "Wow! That was epic." I am reminded to never try to anticipate what will come out of her mouth.

Diving practice showed off a nice bruise from her crash off the 3-meter yesterday. Even the coach was impressed which always makes the kids feel tough ;)

Then a stop by Wendy's to try out the Coke Freestyle machine. This thing is incredible! Over 100 flavor combinations. I personally had Lime Coke Zero, Strawberry Dasani Sensations, Raspberry Powerade, and Cherry Vanilla Coke. Natalie opted for Grape Sprite, Cherry Sprite, and Strawberry Lemonade.

Then the drive home had us talking about our upcoming trip as she saw an American Airlines plane landing at DFW Airport. She asked if we're flying American and I replied, "No, Air Tran"

She kind of sits there for a second and says "Hel-lo! Never even heard of that one. I thought it was only American and Delta, but then you throw out there Air Tran." The best part is that she only knows Delta because I hate them. :) It all gave me a good giggle though ... just the way she says things in a day :)

All-in-all, a nice day ... Ready to do it all (some!) again tomorrow!

Garden Breakfast

2011-06-13T09:57:00.000-05:00

No pic of this because I didn't think of it before I ate it, but I had to share this one:

We have an abundance of what I think are Globe Squash in the garden. These came up volunteer and we've never had them before, so I'm assuming our Zucchini last year was a hybrid variety and one of the "hybrids" was a globe squash. Regardless, we have it coming out our ears.

This morning, I opted to try something:

3 Globe Squash
4 Eggs
1/2 cup cilantro
1 jalapeno
1 clove garlic
1/4 cup chopped onion

1. Add diced globe squash, onion, and garlic to hot pan with a tsp of olive oil and lightly cook.
2. Add in beaten eggs and cook until scrambled
3. Add chopped jalapeno and cilantro
4. Serve topped with salsa and cilantro garnish.

Delicious and super healthy!

Just for fun

2011-06-12T18:08:00.001-05:00

Sent from my Windows Phone

And the 1-meter

2011-06-11T13:35:00.001-05:00

The 1 meter competition was this morning. While it was not her best performance on the boards, she still managed to qualify on to Zones on this board as well with a 14th place finish.

We zoomed back to the hotel to check out and hit the hotel breakfast. Our team has a rule of no sugar at meets, so it is kind of tradition to have a treat after the kids are done competing. Natalie opted to make a waffle with strawberries, whipped cream, and chocolate chips. :)

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3-meter at Regionals 2011

2011-06-10T12:03:00.002-05:00

The 3 meter competition for the regional meet was this morning at the University of Houston's beautiful pool facility.

The U.S. Is split into 10 regions and anyone having a dive list with the required dives is eligible to compete. The youngest age group is 11 and under so there is a wide range of ages between my 7 year old and kids who turned 11 in January.

Regardless, she competed this morning. A week ago, she did this event in the 9 and under category (not an option at regionals) because she was short a dive. Even last night, she was considering scratching because she was scared.

In the end, she dove the best she has. She placed 15 of 16, but the scores were higher than last week, so the progress is applauded!

The top 15 from each of the 10 regions go on to compete at the 5 zone meets next month. She qualified by the skin of her teeth, but it will be a great experience for her.

Tomorrow is the 1m so she will try to qualify again.

The picture does not have her diving but I just needed to include a shot of the beautiful facility.

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Barely

2011-06-08T23:02:00.001-05:00

Barely hanging in here. We got back from our California trip on Sunday late (technically Monday), and it's been busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest around here since.

Monday meant trying to get our stuff unpacked, laundry done, the pool, laundry, and pets all taken care of, and then trampoline practice + 2 diving practices. Managed to get a speeding ticket in there too just for fun.

Tuesday was capped with a 3.5 hour practice.

Today was laundry (yes, still!) and packing for yet another trip and then a 3 hour practice.

Next stop ... Regionals. This has been Natalie's first "big" goal for diving. We had no clue it was even possible to make it this year and the verdict is still out if she'll make it on both boards. She was mentally having some trouble at practice tonight. She technically has 7 dives on the 3-meter board and only has to compete 6, but is only comfortable with 5 (the reason she dove 9 and under in California).

Regardless, we will be down at the meet for practice tomorrow night and I feel pretty confident that she will be "clutch" with the adrenaline flowing, etc. And if not, there is always the 1-meter and next year for the 3-meter.

She has been diving well this week other than this little issue and I'm just so darn proud of her for this whole season. This is the same girl who was diving like this only 10 months ago:

And lately she is now diving off the 5-meter platform, doing an inward flip on the 1-meter (this is what she needs to do on the 3-meter tomorrow), and just diving better in general:

And has competed in her first J.O. meet. She worked her booty off for this and did something that really isn't very common. She still has 3 more years to dive in this age group, so no matter what, she has "won" this meet for her ... She has gotten there with a J.O. Dive list that she can complete.

Thank goodness for ME, there will be a bit of a lull after this meet to catch my breath a bit :)

Picture of the Week: 23/52

2011-06-06T21:12:00.000-05:00

I couldn't pick just one from this week, but I loved both of these from our last few minutes at Capistrano Beach. Beautiful and peaceful way to finish out a great weekend trip!

Headed home

2011-06-05T18:39:00.001-05:00

Last event warmup about to start

Great group of first-year divers who have worked their way to the J.O. team.

Last stop by the beach!

Natalie completed her 6 dives on 1 meter. She wasn't thrilled with her scores, but with it being her first 11 and under JO meet, she didn't quite get how hard the judging would be. It was a great learning experience and I'm so glad we opted to come out here. We are soaking up the salt water smell at the beach for the last few minutes before we head back to the Orange County Airport to fly home. Been a fun weekend!

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Synchro

2011-06-05T03:12:00.001-05:00

Yes, they do Synchro costumes at this meet.
This was "The Sassy Chicks" attire!

Another Synchro duo from our team. Love it!

I can't do the story of this justice tonight on my phone but had to post the pics. What a fun event!

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3 meter

2011-06-04T14:17:00.001-05:00

A freezing morning for diving practice.
Quick snack of some grapes.

Front Dive Tuck off the 3-meter board.

Mixed bag on the 3 meter event. The dives that went well went quite well, but the 2 that she has struggled with, she really had some issues. Ultimately she got 5th and is a bit disappointed but extremely motivated for the upcoming week, etc. I'm super proud of her for fighting and clawing to get a JO dive list her first year.

Next stop, the beach. Then back for synchro.

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4th place

2011-06-04T01:34:00.001-05:00

Freezing (in the towel) on the 5-meter platform tower

First jump off

First dive off

4th place!

Natalie did great on her 5 meter platform event. She had never been on a 5 meter until 1 o'clock today, but she had a great intro and practice. By the time the event was held at 7 California time, she was cold and tired but hung right in there. A little over-rotation on a dive, but otherwise, very solid. Excited for her!

Our evening is wrapping up from a verrrrry eventful day in a beautiful pool house that one of the local families has graciously opened up to us.

Tomorrow is an early morning, but should be another great day.
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We made it

2011-06-03T16:47:00.001-05:00

Bloody Mary at the Harbor

Already in team suit for practice, but a stop by the beach

Excuse my facial expression

3 girls from our team

Natalie and another team-mate stretching before practice

I had a 530 alarm this morning, woke up to 1-2 inches of water flooding my laundry room and then a call from American Airlines letting me know our flight was cancelled ...me moved to one flight, Natalie to another.

Several frantic phone calls later, we had a plan to try to get on an earlier flight. I was out the door in 10 minutes, picked up the coach and teammate, and we made it. Barely.

We had a nice flight and got to California in time for a nice brunch beachside and a little stop by the beach. We are now at the pool getting ready for her first event.... Platform.

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Headed out to Cali, to Cali

2011-06-03T05:03:00.003-05:00

Natalie and I are headed out to Laguna Niguel, California for a diving meet this morning. I am going to do things a little differently and post pictures, updates as individual posts as the weekend unfolds here on my blog, so check back if you are bored.

This should be fun. This is her Jr. Olympic diving debut, if you will. It's been a CRAZY last month trying to get all of the dives in and the last 2 weeks, double practices, etc. She has pushed through and now it's time to see her stuff.

The club hosting the meet, Crown Valley Divers, has a live video stream. I have NO idea how it works for a meet or if you can see anything, but it's worth a shot. (Again, you know - if you're bored)

Our general timeline:
Friday afternoon: 9 & Under Novice 5-meter Platform. She's never been on a platform, but will have about an hour to warm up before the event, so that will be her lessons. She is excited and it's only 3 basic "dives" ~ a front jump, a front line up (fall into a dive), and a back jump. Easy enough. I think she'll really like it!

Saturday morning: 9 & Under J.O. 3-meter Springboard. This has been her toughest area to get all of her dives. In November, she had ONE dive on the 3 meter (and a series of jumps). Now, she has to do FIVE. It's been a rush, rush situation and it's all up to those 5 dives to see how it goes. Fingers crossed.

Saturday afternoon: Synchronized Diving (13 and under). Natalie and another little girl she trains with are doing Synchro. They have named themselves the "Sassy Chicks" Should be fun!

Sunday afternoon: 11 & Under J.O. 1-meter Springboard. Should be a nice finale for the weekend.

Sunday evening: We fly home!

Stay tuned for pics/updates! I'm excited!

400th Blog

2011-06-02T06:01:00.003-05:00

Well, my 400th published post. When I started this blog in April 2009, it was on a bit of a whim and I thought, "Sure, I'll try it and see what comes of it."

There have been many things on here. My opinions, some of our food creations, pictures of my family, parenting, crafting, an incomplete documentation of our 11-day road trip and our Jamaica trip, my back-and-forth on homeschooling, Natalie's diving, our cattle company, thoughts on marriage and life.

When I look back through the last 399!!!! posts, I am struck most by how I've changed. I look at the posts and I am not sure if it comes through in the posts or not, but I can remember what I was thinking or feeling when writing each of those and it really speaks volumes to me how different my life is today versus where it was a little over 2 years ago.

Some of my personal favorites for some giggles all compliments of Natalie Grace:

My Strike of sending a note in the lunch - that lasted all of about 30 minutes
Natalie opting out of a treat so she didn't have to promise to be good.
The "Bring It On" comment
My Potty Mouth Friends

And I think one of my favorite of all-time is my "Feeling a bit Chinese" post. I think it sums up my views quite well and it's something I stand behind.

Aside from that, I've really enjoyed getting to play around with some pictures and keeping a photo documentation of my life and having the outlet of MY blog to do what *I* want.

All-in-all, it's been a really fun experience and I look forward to the next 600 ;)

Pets and Summer

2011-06-01T09:44:00.000-05:00

One of my least favorite parts of having pets and the heat is the hair:

Needless to say, Cody was less than pleased

Amy, on the other hand, will do anything for someone to pet her - curry comb or not.

"The Clown Dog"

Goodness, that's a LOT of hair!

Amy, I think you have something in your eye....

398

2011-05-31T06:58:00.000-05:00

Wow. Post #398 since I started this blog. Hmm, to come up with something good for #400.

Well, 398 is not the one I need *the* post, so here goes a couple shots I snapped yesterday while we were enjoying our Memorial Day:

A delicious accent from our local produce and garden place:

An unwelcome guest:

Hard work to be a dog this destructive:

I love this dog, though:

And watermelon, he loves:

Betty Crocker, I am NOT!

2011-05-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

I posted a picture of the Swiss Chard from my garden earlier.

The basket is approximately 5-gallons.

This really not-fun process involves washing every leaf, taking the stalk part out of it, and getting it ready to go. This picture makes the pile look small, but I promise it was gargantuan!

In batches, you have to drop in boiling water for 2 minutes:

Then rinse in ice water for 2 minutes:

Drain:

And repeat:

At the end, this is ALL there was!

Yes, 4 SANDWICH size bags of Chard!

Granted, it is packed in really tightly and will make great "Spinach" dip, additions to casseroles, pastas, etc.

I just can't get over the volume change! Guess the other basket waiting to be harvested isn't going to fill my freezer after all.

Picture of the week: 22/52: And the garden bounty begins

2011-05-30T10:02:00.000-05:00

This is about half of the chard that was left on the plants yesterday. It is all packed into this basket too. Huge leaves, huge harvest. Today is being spent blanching and freezing. We should be plenty healthy with all of that!!

These are Green Bean Fries!

They came out delicious. Green beans from the garden, dipped in egg whites, and then tossed with Italian seasoned breadcrumbs & parmesan (the breadcrumbs, seasoning, parmesan all together). You put them on a sprayed baking sheet, spray a little more on top of the beans, and bake. I did 375 for 20 minutes-ish.

We dipped them in spaghetti sauce and they were a hit! I can't wait to make them with zucchini, too!

Some would consider this camping

2011-05-27T09:36:00.000-05:00

After Natalie's fun afternoon in the pool yesterday, Zane and I told her we would join her in the evening after diving practice. We stopped and grabbed Little Caesar's and ate dinner in the pool. It was 88 degrees and just a perfect evening.

Not ready for the fun to end (ever!), Natalie asked if we could do a fire in the fire pit and maybe even some S'mores. Again, the perfect evening, Zane off work, and a homeschool situation, we were able to say, "Sure, why not?!"

We did the s'mores and then decided to just go all out and grab the tent and throw it up in the lawn for the night. It was a cool night and great for a backyard campout.

The morning meant breakfast on the fire and Natalie back in the pool. Life is good!!

But now, back to the real world. It was a fun little "escape" while it lasted though :)

Splashdown

2011-05-27T06:45:00.000-05:00

Our pool (just the temporary above-ground variety) has been a staple of our summers for the last 7 years and it seems this year will be no exception.

Natalie spent her hour before practice yesterday in the pool .... just being a kid!

And practicing her cannon balls, of course

She is a nut!!

Of course has to play diving, too!

I just loved this profile shot

Not bad for the splash. I think I scored her a 6.0 on it :)

Jars O' Snacks

2011-05-26T07:33:00.002-05:00

I have been on a kick of using jars for our dry storage. Here is our snack assortment on the counter in the kitchen. I love that it looks inviting to eat, that things are easily identified and well, I just like the jars.

Consider it my version of recycling ~ specifically from the Classico Pasta Company given that 3 of these 4 are from them: Pesto, Alfredo, and Tomato Basil. Add in a jar from marinated artichoke hearts and you have my assortment here. I would love to find classier lids that "match" each of the styles of jars, but I also like free and convenient, so that may never come to fruition.

The snacks/treats that are hits lately: Lightly Salted Almonds, Dried Mango and Cranberries, Chocolate Trail Mix, and Wasabi Wild Trail Mix (My personal fav).

Oh, and another perk of the jars: They're BPA Free.

Picture of the Week: 21/52

2011-05-25T06:37:00.001-05:00

This was actually taken on 5/22. It's almost eery looking at it now. It was a break between 2 massive cells of storms that rolled through our area with strong straight-line winds, tornado warnings in our county, etc.

Our thoughts and prayers remain with the people of Joplin, Missouri who experienced a very different outcome right around the very same time.

Playing a little catch up

2011-05-24T07:36:00.000-05:00

I have been horrible at blogging. Not just run of the mill horrible, but really bad about keeping up, bad about putting into print what I think I'm going to blog about, and horrible about taking/posting pictures. I started my Picture of the Week challenge at the beginning of the year and when I did inventory this morning, I realized that I had 6 of the 21 weeks blank. Nada. No picture, no promise of one.

Heck, I hadn't even put up pictures of Easter. (Okay, so mostly it's because I only have pictures of the egg dying process, but details!) or our trip to the Denton Jazz Festival. Or, or, or.

Soooo, I scrolled through my Picasa and have updated the Picture of the Week situation and I've started working on my blog idea book again. It's something I just haven't used my time to do and I really miss it. I am so opinionated and the blog is kind of my "journal" if you will.

So here you go: Picture of the Week ... A nice handy link that will pull up the posts with that label and you can scroll through for yourself!

Now back in business! :)

The dog strikes again ....

2011-05-24T06:28:00.000-05:00

Natalie and I got home from practice last night to find ... this.

"It" is a 12-pound bag of Baking Soda that has been dragged off of a counter space where we had our pool chemicals and then apparently methodically taken to one of his hoarding spots.

The photo courtesy of some Panoramic something or other on my new phone that allowed me to take 3 pictures and it stitched them together. Obviously not perfect as the pole isn't leaning like that, but you were able to get the point.

Oh, and just to make matters a little better: I decided to make sure it wouldn't make him sick. Well, turns out Baking Soda is toxic to dogs.

Don't worry, we gave him some extra water!

Salmon Alfredo

2011-05-23T12:20:00.002-05:00

Today's lunch made with a recipe for Yogurt Alfredo Sauce I had to try:

Ingredients:
1 tbsp Olive Oil
2 tsp Garlic (I used 3 cloves)
1 cup plain yogurt
1 cup milk (2% at our house)
1/4 cup grated parmesan
1/4 cup whole wheat flour

Directions:
1. Heat olive oil in medium saucepan on medium heat. Once hot, add garlic and heat for a few minutes.
2. Add flour and mix.
3. Whisk in yogurt and milk. After mixed well, allow mixture to boil.
4. Immediately after boiling, add parmesan and reduce heat to simmer.
5. Allow to thicken (2-3 minutes) and then serve over pasta or as a white pizza sauce.

Verdict: we all really liked it. I might have preferred a bit more milk but it was excellent, super easy, and a much healthier alternative to the classic butter and cream Alfredo we all love. We served it over whole wheat spaghetti and with New Orleans Cajun seasoned salmon.

Sent from my Windows Phone

What's the driving force?

2011-05-23T08:14:00.001-05:00

I had an enlightening conversation with a friend of ours yesterday. This is someone we have known for years, knows all 3 of us, and I think has a pretty good understanding of our family dynamic and our parenting philosophy. All of that said, I was astounded to hear her "take" if you will on the buzzword around our house....diving.

"You guys need to be careful that you're not pushing her for yourselves."

I almost fell out of my chair. I assured this sweet friend that driving into the Metroplex 4-6 times a week, spending a ~~small~~ large fortune of money every month, juggling meet schedules and travel for said meets, and spending 10 hours in a hot and humid chlorine-fumed pool area is not something WE are pushing for.

I certainly understand that it seems less than likely that a 7 year old would choose to spend her life at the pool, opting out of playdates for extra practice, choosing to compete in an older age group despite the fact that she won't place as well ... "to get better." But that's what it is!

Natalie Grace's drive, focus, and determination is something that we've always known she has. Heck, at 10 months old, I started researching tips on how to raise a spirited child. This is a culmination of all of that, a fantastic team that has been so inspiring, a coach who knows what it takes, and parents who are along for the ride.

I understand that she is missing out (not my word choice, but I'll go with it for the sake of conversation here) on a typical childhood. But you know, what is a typical childhood any more? Shouldn't we be happy she's on an alternate path? I mean, after all, she is missing out on the hours a day of Spongebob, video games, and junk food. How will she ever grow up to look fondly on her childhood? The horrors.

Regardless, I just felt like I needed to set the story straight, if you will, and I also fully realize that even me posting on my personal blog doesn't mean a darn thing to sway someone's mind, but it's the truth. We offer all the time to cut her training days back so she could do other activities. We have mentioned that she could continue diving Novice for a while before making the jump to J.O. so as not to rush into everything being so intense. She is the one pushing this .... and asking for MORE.

I know great things are to come from someone with SO much passion, love, drive, commitment. It may not be related to diving at all, but the life lessons she's gaining, the experiences, the work, and even the things she's having to miss for it all ~ They're all going to pay off huge.

A Cookie Sunday

2011-05-22T20:40:00.001-05:00

Natalie Grace has been eyeing the cookie cutter jar lately and requested to make sugar cookies with them. We finally go around to doing that this evening and I think it was a hit. We even made homemade frosting. I honestly had no idea how quick, easy, and delicious it is. Needless to say, there is no reason to buy the tubs of frosting ever again! Hooray!

Disclaimer (but only because there is photographic evidence): I did use Imitation Vanilla Extract. I know, I know -- the nerve. I'm not sure when I bought it, but I'm sure I was trying to save some money. I will rectify that soon! :)

Natalie was introduced to a new culinary tool -- the sifter. Sadly, she'd never seen it used until today! And yes, she has a black eye (We've been calling her Left Eye) from taking a knee to the eye while working on tucking tighter.

Apparently this is quite the task and requires great concentration.

(I just love this shot - black eye and all!!)

I even made one --- Go Mavs!!

A few of the finished product:

It was a fun night hanging out with the girl, doing something she had been looking forward to, and was a nice wrap-up to our weekend. Ahhhhhh.

Picture of the Week: 20/52

2011-05-21T11:45:00.000-05:00

This week's Picture of the Week (yes, I'm a bit behind!) comes courtesy of Natalie's new Saturday morning practices and the fact that the Keller Farmer's Market is set up at the town square that shares a parking lot with the pool!

I scored on some delicious Jalapeno Cheese bread (Sourdough style and delicious), some "The Work" fresh Chevre goat cheese from Latte da Dairy, 2 "Eight Ball" squashes from an adorable 10-year-old, and a small package of Cranberry Almond Granola from Grapevine Grains.

I'm looking forward to trying them each and then making the market part of my Saturday morning routine!

Greek Quiche

2011-05-20T07:07:00.002-05:00

The final verdict was to make the casserole into a quiche. I had a frozen pie crust in the freezer, so I pulled out my eggs. Oops, only have 3. No problem. I added some milk to stretch them and then stirred in the chopped lamb, about 4 cups of spinach, chopped onion, and a wedge of feta cheese - plus a little flour and baking powder.

Only problem was that at this point, it is too dry to cook and set, so i added some plain yogurt, salt, pepper, and dill - and baked for an hour at 325.

It was a huge hit with Zane and Natalie ... And certainly something i would make again. Maybe a few more eggs is i have them on hand.

Sent from my Windows Phone

Food Creativity

2011-05-18T17:53:00.000-05:00

One of the things I'm the most "proud" of as I'm becoming more of a "real" adult is my ability to cook more readily on my feet. I am not able to just shop for things, throw together healthy and delicious (mostly) meals AND it not send me into a tizzy to do it.

Some recent examples:

1. Natalie accidentally got cabbage at the store instead of cauliflower. What am I going to make with a head of cabbage? I looked online for some recipe inspiration and made a casserole with cabbage, ground beef, tomato sauce. But it didn't use all of the cabbage. Ugh. I shredded it all in the food processor and with the leftover, we made fish tacos. Fish, cabbage, tomato, cilantro, and cilantro ranch dressing with a spritz of lime juice over the top. A new favorite. (Okay, more MY favorite than the rest of the family but they do like them!)

2. We've been watching Season 2 of Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. In Episode 2, he takes over a fast food restaurant and tries to offer cost-effective, quick, delicious, and healthy alternatives to the typical burger and fries. One of his looked amazing, so we made a little twist on it. We grilled some burgers (you could use whatever you wanted for this), and topped with grilled onions, steamed chard (because we have TONS of it in our garden), and then a sweet potato/sweet red pepper puree. It didn't need any cheese or condiments and was delicious! (I just boiled the peeled sweet potatoes and threw them in the blender with some jarred sweet red peppers).

3. Gyros. I snagged a 2.55 lb lamb roast for $5.99 last week, so we decided to try our hand at gyros. Yum. I don't even like lamb OR gyros, but they were pretty good. I baked the lamb and then thinly sliced it, put it in pita pockets with slices of cucumber and onion, and topped with the homemade yogurt sauce: Plain yogurt, grated cucumber (water squeezed out), salt, pepper, and dill.

4. Greek Casserole. This one is to-be-determined on the success of it, but I have leftover lamb from the gyros, so I think I'm going to throw in some steamed chard and Feta cheese from my mom that I found in the freezer (thanks, Mom!). I may add some bread crumbs or some crunchy onions on top. To be determined.

Regardless, I'm curious what are some of your favorite "accidental" recipes (or just the idea of them). I love cooking for my family and we're making a conscious effort to eat better and eat out less ... and my "trade skill" seems to be helping. HA!

Picture of the Week: 19/52

2011-05-08T21:34:00.000-05:00

Just an excerpt from a video taken on the trampoline. Yes, it came with a pad. No, we don't have it on because the first night, the puppy attacked the pad. :)

J.O.

2011-05-08T16:45:00.001-05:00

Natalie has learned enough dives to be considered a part of the J.O. team. This is a huge step in the world of diving as it means you are eligible to compete in the Regional meets - which is the track toward Nationals. Ultimately, the goal is to get to Nationals and place in medal contention (top 12) as a crucial part of a team win!

The sport of diving is all new to me, but we have learned a lot in the last few months. Essentially, everything is broken down into a sequence. Natalie has followed the sequence fairly textbook, but just in fast-forward.

During lessons: Practicing a back flip at home. July 21, 2010

She started lessons in July 2010. It was a 2-week session (M-Th) each morning where she got introduced to the boards, basic form, etc. There are 10 levels of lessons and if you pass the first 3, then you are invited to try out for the team. After her first session, she was invited to try out on August 6, 2010. We opted to do another session in the 2 weeks leading up to the tryout, so she had been diving for 16 days at that point. She made the team and practices started September 1st, diving 2 days a week.

2nd Place at Team Tryouts. August 6, 2010

By October, they had her start training 3 days a week. Primarily, this was to not make the gaps between training so long. She was having to re-learn things every time she came to the pool which was frustrating.

Mid-November, we went to her first meet. At that point, in the diving world, she was still considered a 7-year-old and some meets have a 7 & under classification. That one did not, so she dove 9 & under. She competed in a group called "Future Champions" on the 3-meter board because she didn't have enough dives to compete Novice. Future Champions has 3 classifications and she entered in the lowest level: Bronze (There is also Silver and Gold). She was able to compete Novice on the 1-meter. She did well at the meet and was "hooked" on diving!

Conroe Meet ~ November 13, 2010

We came back from the meet and she had a new fire. Training over the next couple of months was consistent, but progress was slow. By February, we added a 4th day of diving practice a week and she also started taking Trampoline lessons with one of our team coaches.

We had our big home meet at the end of February and she did great. She made some good progress in the month of increased practice and it seemed to be paying off and she was able to compete Novice on both boards ... solidly.

Dick Wilson Invitational ~ February 25, 2011
With Coach April :)

In mid-March, a lot of our team went to the Spring Regional Championships - and anyone placing in the top 6 of their event moved on the West Nationals. Natalie not being able to go to Regionals and then seeing this year's National Team be formed when she didn't even have a chance was a whole new inspiration to her!

The first of April, we went to the Laura Wilkinson Golden Invitational Meet. She had a rough morning on the 1-meter, but seemed to turn things around on the 3-meter. She competed for the first time with her Inward Dive and had an overall good meet.

With Laura Wilkinson. April 2, 2011

In the last month, she has learned some crucial dives needed to continue progressing. Once you are able to compete a dive list with the correct dives of enough groups, degree of difficulty, etc., then you are eligible to go to Regionals for your age group.

The trick here is that the youngest age group at Regionals is 11 & Under. The diver needs to compete 6 dives. In order to do this, the first 3 have to be from different groups (Forward, Backward, Inward, Reverse) and then the other 3 have to be from different groups (from each other) and you can't repeat dives. Recently she has done her Front 1 1/2 which was a huge step, but she only has one inward dive and didn't have a reverse, so it left her short. Technically, it can be gotten around, but regardless, her coach worked miracles this week (and Natalie's hard work, of course), and Natalie has now done her reverse dive (You go off the board forward, but then dive backwards - toward the board)

Sporting her team warmups.

All of that to say .... the coach is confident she's ready to go to her first Regional Meet this June. In preparation, she will dive 11 & Under J.O. at her meet between now and then as practice. The meet has a 9 & under group, but the coach wants to have her do a practice run, which we are in complete agreement with.

The Regional (and up) meets are what the whole sport is "about." The top 15 from Regionals qualify for Zones and the top 12 from Zones qualify for Nationals.

Hooray!! This should all be a fun experience as we get a little more seasoned and kind of learn the ropes a little better!

Just a little information about her team: They are considered one of the very best in the nation. They have won the West Nationals 7 consecutive years. They are extremely competitive at Nationals in the Summer. If I recall correctly, they were 2nd last year. Currently, there are 2 16 year old boys who have already qualified for the 2012 Olympic Trials next June. The accolades go on and on along with the scholarship recipients. All graduating seniors that are on this team get scholarship offers to dive in college.

So what this means for Zane and I - as the parents and financiers of this gig: Essentially, it is a huge commitment on our part. We are committing to a huge chunk of time and money for the duration of her diving career. A lot of things are going to have to change in our life, but it's something we feel good about ... this is such a great opportunity for Natalie and like most parents, we want to give her every opportunity possible. This one is one we just sort of stumbled into, but we couldn't be happier with the progress so far.

A premonition she had in 2008??? Dream Big!

Bliss of a Staycation

2011-05-07T09:02:00.000-05:00

All good things must come to an end, or so they say. I'm choosing to not believe it for today!

Zane's job is set up in a way that they have to put in for vacation time well in advance. 2011's vacation time was determined in November 2010. It is next-to-impossible to predict our needs that far out. Regardless, one of those vacations was the end of April, but without any pressing plans.

We opted to take the time off of school, our only real obligation was diving practices, and we primarily just hung out around the house, and go so many things accomplished.

It has been so nice to finally feel like we got caught up on some things: the pool, the yard, the garden, the house, the time with the animals. Not to mention some time with friends: Out to dinner/play pool, my Bunko night, Denton Jazz Festival, and today: Kentucky Derby Day at the horse track!

Everything feels so much more in sync around here and I'm so grateful. This last week has been a week full of bliss for me. I slept in each day, we ate at home for the most part - much of the food coming from the produce stand up the road, Zane and I did the 30-Day Shred each day, I only went to diving 1 of the 6 practices this week, the house is clean and seems to be staying clean!

I really couldn't have asked for a better stretch of days. Boring? Sure, I guess you could call it that. But so very much needed and appreciated. Now if only he could stay at home, but keep getting that paycheck ;).

Denton Jazz Festival & Pictures of the Week 18/52

2011-05-01T21:24:00.000-05:00

On a whim, we went to the Denton Jazz Festival. It was a really fun time full of people watching, some great music, and great company. Natalie brought her camera, so these are courtesy of her.

See, she DOES have parents. Not sure why there's not a shot of us together, but proof we were both there :)

A crazy mom!

The sign said "No Dogs" ~ Nothing about "No pets" This guy was HUGE and they just *had* to set up their spot directly next to us.

Just Say No

2011-04-27T07:33:00.000-05:00

Our family has recently found the amazingly fun game, Monopoly Deal. It is a great spin on the favorite of Monopoly, but it is played with cards and only takes about 15 minutes!! It's great! The first few times we played, we came across great "steal" cards and were loving using them on each other. And then the "Just Say No!" card surfaced. It can be used "anytime when an action card is played against you." That's right! Anytime you want to say "No," you can just lay down this card.

It all got me thinking: Isn't it truly that simple in life? We are always allowed to say no. No, I don't want to go out to dinner. No, I don't feel up to company. And my big kicker --- Parents! Where are the parents these days?!

It seems to me, sadly, that parents are afraid to "Just Say No!" to their kids. Unless you are a hermit, you see examples of this every. single. day. The sad part? The losers in this are not only the kids, but society as a whole. This is creating a generation of self-serving brats in my opinion. "No" is a part of life. You won't always get to go everywhere you want, do everything you want to do, be with who you'd like to be with, have the things you'd like. That's just the pure reality of life.

I realize there is a spectrum of parenting styles and there is no "right" way to fit every family and every child, but I also realize that not being able to set firm and consistent boundaries in the name of not upsetting little Suzy is far more detrimental than the emotional harm she would suffer from *gasp* being told no. Kids need and thrive on structure and an often-overlooked part of that, is having those limits in place in their life is a huge part of what helps them - not harms then.

SO yes, it really is as easy as "Just Say No!"

Easter 2011

2011-04-23T21:18:00.000-05:00

Easter 2011. No classic pictures of the three of us at church or even the little lady all dressed up. Heck, there aren't even pictures of the Easter basket or the egg hunt. I'm sinking pretty low on the parenting totem pole, but here is what I DO have. The Tie-Dye Eggs!!

Put the boiled egg in the bag:

Add a little of one color:

And a little of another:

And swirl them:

Add a little glitter:

VOILA!

Dad got tricky with the white crayon while Natalie was away ... this is what came out of the bag. :)

Picture of the week: 16/52

2011-04-23T14:11:00.003-05:00

Picture of the Week: 14/52

2011-04-19T21:16:00.000-05:00

What a lame "Picture of the Week" but it's literally the only thing I had in my Picture Library from this week ... well it and others of our visit to the Fort Worth Museum of Science History's "Identity" exhibit. I took some pics as "notes."

Summer Fun ... In April

2011-04-19T15:09:00.000-05:00

It's a beautifully hot and humid day ~ and it also happens to be Natalie's first day with her new trampoline! So what better way to enjoy it --- than with water?!

Riding In Style - Picture(s) of the Week: Week 15

2011-04-17T14:24:00.001-05:00

I love this kid. She came to me earlier, "Can you please put my hair in a full pony tail and put this (blue ribbon) in it for me? I still need to put on makeup too so I can have a ride in style."

I had an impossible time getting "the" shot with her facial expressions, skirt flying in the wind, movement, etc. but the "feel" is captured nonetheless!

Picture of the Week: 13/52

2011-04-04T21:14:00.001-05:00

Just a fun little picture showing Natalie was in 1st place going into the 5th round (of 5) at the meet!!

Meet #3

2011-04-02T06:00:00.006-05:00

3:45pm - She ended up in 3rd place (0.5 out of 2nd) Great job, Natalie!

3:20pm - she is done on the 3m. She was in the lead after 4 of the 5 rounds but her 5th dive was her newest dive and she scored 4 and 4.5's. Waiting for final placing, but overall a wonderful day! Now for awards and the drive home....

Synchronized divers from the Olympic Training Facility

12:30pm - olympic synchro diver exhibition. Next event (3m) up soon

Laura Wilkinson - Olympic Gold Medalist

11:00am - 7th place on the 1m. Certainly not her best diving day, but a good job regardless.

Natalie after warmups - ready for 1M

8:50 - warmups done.... Next up: opening ceremony

6:00 - up and at 'em at our hotel. We are going to get ready, pack up our stuff, and head to the pool in time for her 7:15 warmups this morning. Mood: excited :)

And the verdict is ...

2011-03-30T07:56:00.001-05:00

I am surprised and grateful for the great response on my post begging for parenting suggestions. I got feedback in the way of comments, facebook comments, facebook messages, emails, and phone calls. To each of you, thank you for taking the time to read my dilemma and for then following up - even if just to say "I'm in the same boat."

In the end, things got worse before they got better, but we are in a much better pattern currently. I wrote that last Friday and as of Wednesday morning, this week has been smooth sailing. I blogged while Zane had her at practice and when they got home, things weren't any better. I asked her to get a shower, she was taking forever. We asked what she was doing. "I was changing" It all turned out to be a big stretch of the truth as she didn't want to take a shower. Now, don't get me wrong. I have those days where a shower, the drying off, the getting dressed - all of it seems like way too much effort to put forth. However, it's a necessity and especially with the chlorine treatment her hair gets daily.

Regardless, I reached my breaking point. Zane and I went into her room and took everything away. The books, the toys, the trinkets on the dresser, even the pictures off the wall. In that moment (okay, so it was several minutes it took to accomplish this), I can see that we got through to her. She realized that we were serious when we've told her, "Our job as your parents is to make you into a good adult and part of that is teaching you to obey and we will do whatever it takes to make that happen."

So in the end, this was a major wake up call to her. As can be seen in my picture of the week, we did indeed go to the cattle sales and she continues to dive and will be competing in the meet. She has been able to earn things back in chunks and so far has 1 of her 5 shelves of books back, her trinkets, access to the toys in the closet, some favorite stuffed animals, and her farm play set.

She is earning things back for being cooperative, helpful ~ you know, the stuff I know she has in there but sometimes can't find herself ;)

In trying to deal with the evening shower situation, I have offered the past two nights an opportunity for a reward. We are doing a book study (Very thought-provoking book that I really recommend, Firegirl) and she loves it. I told her if she got her stuff dealt with (out of the car, towel hung up, showered, suit and chamois rinsed, hung to dry, PJ's, teeth, hair brushed) in a reasonable amount of time, then I would do an extra chapter.

Monday night, it was a no-go, but last night, she managed to earn it and was really excited.

So here's hoping that a crazed set of parents taking all of her stuff from her room was enough to snap the spiral we were in and there are sunnier days ahead!

Picture of the week: 12/52

2011-03-27T17:12:00.000-05:00

Week 12 ... Crazy. Only 40 more to go.

This week's picture brought to you courtesy of our Saturday spent in Oklahoma at not one, but two cattle auctions. Here is a picture of the girl of mine wearing her hat from one of the sales - with 2 of the girls we brought back with us eating behind her. The one on the right, #18, Natalie is in a partnership with, so she'll be showing her this coming year. She's looking forward to it :)

So now what!?

2011-03-25T16:07:00.002-05:00

My lovely daughter who is 2790 days old (7 years, 7 months, 3 weeks) is going to drive me to drink (more)!! This week has been ridiculous with some of the things she has tried to get away with. To name some of the bigger offenses:

Blatant Defiance: Natalie, it's 8:30, you need to head to bed. "Can I read?" No, lights out. ---I walked in at 9:00 to find her reading. Not even in her bed, under it in her cozy little reading nook -- How long were you going to read? "Until I finished my book."

Lying: Did you brush your teeth? "Yes ma'am" Let me see. .... Natalie, you didn't brush. "Yes, I did!! Just not very well." No, not at all. "Yes." No, you didn't. "Okay, no, I didn't"
Strong Attempts at Manipulation: Are you hungry? "No ma'am" Are you sure? We have your pizza from earlier .... "No, I'm not hungry" Okay, well we're going to head in, so go ahead and go get a shower. You don't need to use extra conditioner tonight since you didn't dive. We'll be in in a few minutes. "Okay" .... She walked away and then came back, "Actually, I changed my mind. I am hungry." No, I'm sorry, now you're just trying to stay up. Go get your shower. Natalie, this is enough. Get ready for bed. You can eat in the morning. "But I'm staaaarving." I'm sorry to hear that. Next time I ask if you are hungry, give me the correct answer then. "I wasn't then, but I am now." Okay, this conversation is over. I am done discussing dinner and I'm done listening to you give me a hard time. "I won't give you a hard time anymore if you'll just give me something to eat that's not pizza"

Some of the weeks' consequences have been:

Missing a dive practice

Writing Sentences: I will follow the rules (x25) and I will stop lying (x50)
Not able to go to a rodeo tonight with some friends.

I am at a loss of finding the punishment that will truly get through to her. She seems to be indifferent in the moment. She knows what she's doing is wrong, but her selfish impulses just don't seem to care. She'll even say, "But I wanted ......"

We are both so very frustrated and at a loss of the next thing to do. In the past, we've done chores, time outs, taken toys/books away, spankings, you name it ( I think ). We have done positive rewards ... money, privileges. All of these things have their places where they've worked, but nothing has been able to curb the ... well, like I called it - selfish impulses.

Right now, she is in need of a consequence for earlier today's sass-session. The options: another dive practice, skipping the cattle sales we're going to tomorrow and staying home to hoe the grass/weeds out of the garden, or ????????

The problem with each of the above options is that we all really like her diving - not just her, and missing practices has a negative impact on her progress. She has a meet next weekend which we've even considered skipping as a consequence. And if that's our only option, we will do it - however, with the time and money we have invested in this, that's a hard one for us, too. The skipping of the cattle sales means that I would be staying home with her to monitor it and Zane would be going by himself. He has a job to do and can't just not go, so then her consequence is cutting into our time as well.

So, let me know some of your creative consequences - or not so creative, but proven effective for a very spirited kid who 90% of the time is a charm, 5% is manageable with what I see as typical punishments, and the other 5% leaves me on my toes, frustrated, and frazzled.

Thanks in advance!

Feel free to comment or email: txtraci@gmail.com

A Day Away

2011-03-24T17:08:00.000-05:00

We have been wanting to visit our "local" Nuclear Power Plant's visitors' center for years now, but have never made it happen, but in light of the ongoing disaster in Japan, we finally made time. It was a great exhibit they have set up explaining nuclear power, their plant, etc.

Afterward, we went across the reservoir used for cooling the reactors (not radioactive water!) to have a picnic lunch and enjoy the beautiful day.

Zane and Natalie did some rock-skipping. Here, they are on a search for the perfect skipping stone:

Zane shows Natalie the proper technique:

She explains her little tricks to him:

and launches:

If you are what you eat ...

2011-03-23T14:12:00.003-05:00

.... then here's my family:

I was challenged by a friend to blog about what's in my fridge, and this is what I came up with. I had visions of a prettier picture (think a TV tour of a celebs house), but this is real.

Meat and dairy products. Today, this means ground beef, pork chops, sour cream, margarine, and strawberry probiotic yogurt
Bread products. Wheat sliced bread, 2 sizes of tortillas, and hamburger buns
Cattle meds. Not everyone can say that have that in their house fridge :)
Natalie's stuff. Horizon boxed milks (LOVE these because they don't have to be kept cold, so they work great for our traveling), pudding, fruit cups, applesauce, and gatorade
Leftovers. Artichoke hearts, pesto, roasted sweet red peppers, and stir fry sit there today.
Cheese. My favorite drawer. I bought some "Garden Vegetable and Sweet Basil" cheese today that I'm really excited about, but in general, this has slices for sandwiches, shredded for cooking/nachos, and a block or two for snacking.
Produce. The bottom drawer on the left is our "older" stuff. I move stuff to there when I shop so that I'm using the older stuff first. Obviously I had some overflow, so things are shoved. Currently in our repertoire: lettuce, tomato, avocado, cauliflower, broccoli, spring mix, bell peppers, onion, apples, strawberries.
Drinks. Last, but far from least, our drinks. Milk, water bottles, and Wernesgruner beer - a delicious german brew.

For those of you needing the full picture without the lines ;)

So that's our food -- and now I just go through there, the pantry, and the freezer - and piece together a menu. Easy Breezy.

Forever Friend

2011-03-22T17:25:00.001-05:00

I had the lucky opportunity to meet this chick for lunch yesterday! She lives in Seattle, but had a layover at DFW Airport during a work trip, so we got to have a lunch and chat session.

It is amazing how much something so "simple" can make you feel. I have been friends with Nicole since college. We worked together at a grueling yet lucrative restaurant job and always found a way to make the most fun out of situations.

I knew I missed her and I knew I was excited to see her yesterday, but after she left for her flight, I realized how refreshing it was to get to see her. We don't talk as much as we would like, we email way less frequently than we used to (hard to top the 3x/day craziness in college ... Hey! It was pre-facebook!!), but there was just something about the familiarity that really made me smile.

I'm so grateful to have a few people to call forever friends, but the visit with this one certainly put an extra little skip in my step and I'm so grateful to have her in my life! :)

Oh, and just to state the obvious - we weren't dressed like this - for her wedding - nor did we take any pictures yesterday. Let's just pretend we looked this fabulous. Thanks ;-)

Picture of the Week: 11/52

2011-03-19T15:17:00.000-05:00

I got a wild hair and decided to do a haircut yesterday ~ She was more than stunned with how much I took off (about 4 inches) and cried for quite a bit. In the end, I'm really happy with it ... and more importantly, so is she.